Comments on: Thanks, but I have my own drummer http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:14:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Christy http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-3586 Christy Sun, 03 Jul 2011 20:49:33 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-3586 Amazing. It could have been me writing this blog post. I have strong INFJ tendencies too, and I actually find it a cross between amusing and insulting to be told I ought to be like other people. "I didn’t try to fit in, but part of that was because I wasn’t even aware that fitting in was an option." Love this. And like you I found that college was a time of finding that there were people like me who deeply appreciated who I was. I never tried to be like other people. I have always been who I am and let similar people gravitate to me. Amazing. It could have been me writing this blog post. I have strong INFJ tendencies too, and I actually find it a cross between amusing and insulting to be told I ought to be like other people.

“I didn’t try to fit in, but part of that was because I wasn’t even aware that fitting in was an option.”
Love this.
And like you I found that college was a time of finding that there were people like me who deeply appreciated who I was. I never tried to be like other people. I have always been who I am and let similar people gravitate to me.

]]> By: IntrovertZone http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-920 IntrovertZone Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:52:04 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-920 Hi Miyuki, I think you sound like you know yourself and you're comfortable being you. That's great! I know what you mean about the in-your-face stuff that's different just to make a statement. That's not the true, quirky individual, that's just an attention seeker! :) Hi Miyuki, I think you sound like you know yourself and you’re comfortable being you. That’s great! I know what you mean about the in-your-face stuff that’s different just to make a statement. That’s not the true, quirky individual, that’s just an attention seeker! :)

]]> By: Clarkson http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-916 Clarkson Tue, 26 Jan 2010 00:54:35 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-916 it's tough growing up for alot of kids. Not everyone had it all figured out like lucky 'ol you. While you might turn your nose up at people like this, perhaps a little compassion and understanding is in order. Now get over here so I can smack you off your high horse. it’s tough growing up for alot of kids. Not everyone had it all figured out like lucky ‘ol you. While you might turn your nose up at people like this, perhaps a little compassion and understanding is in order. Now get over here so I can smack you off your high horse.

]]> By: Miyuki http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-779 Miyuki Thu, 24 Dec 2009 21:30:04 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-779 Read the comments and it's such a relief to know that others experience this. Most of my life, I was usually that quiet/shy girl who would just be alone reading, playing, or just thinking. It just never occurred to me to really care what anyone thought of me or whatever. My mind was just...elsewhere. Sometimes, I'd have people pick on me because they wanted to know my reactions to certain things. Was hurt but took it in stride. The only thing that sickens me about this whole "individuality" stuff is the motivation. I always noticed that most do it to make a flippin' statement to OTHER PEOPLE. A statement to whom and to prove what? That you're higher than them? That you actually think? What the hell? If you don't care what others think of you, if you just want to do you, then why are you trying to go out your way to make a statement to them? That's a waste of time. Just do you and live your life. My motivation to do my thing is because I want to do me. I want to be free and give time to myself and people that I don't have to feign love or care toward. I don't have time to make everyone happy and I know that I can bust my tail and lose my limbs and they'll still find something to chastise me on. I'm happy with myself and that in itself shows to those around me. I don't need to make a statement for that. Nice post, Miyuki Read the comments and it’s such a relief to know that others experience this. Most of my life, I was usually that quiet/shy girl who would just be alone reading, playing, or just thinking. It just never occurred to me to really care what anyone thought of me or whatever. My mind was just…elsewhere. Sometimes, I’d have people pick on me because they wanted to know my reactions to certain things. Was hurt but took it in stride.

The only thing that sickens me about this whole “individuality” stuff is the motivation. I always noticed that most do it to make a flippin’ statement to OTHER PEOPLE. A statement to whom and to prove what? That you’re higher than them? That you actually think? What the hell? If you don’t care what others think of you, if you just want to do you, then why are you trying to go out your way to make a statement to them? That’s a waste of time. Just do you and live your life.

My motivation to do my thing is because I want to do me. I want to be free and give time to myself and people that I don’t have to feign love or care toward. I don’t have time to make everyone happy and I know that I can bust my tail and lose my limbs and they’ll still find something to chastise me on. I’m happy with myself and that in itself shows to those around me. I don’t need to make a statement for that.

Nice post,
Miyuki

]]> By: IntrovertZone http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-700 IntrovertZone Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:59:52 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-700 Hi JW, yes, some people just don't do all the noticing, thinking, and reflecting about things; they just jump right in. That's their own personality preference, but I certainly can't (and don't want to) imitate it. I hope people will appreciate you for who you are though, because you bring unique gifts and insights to the table. There has to be a balance in life, instead of everyone being extroverts. The world can't be talk-talk-talk all the time - it also needs us introverts with our listening, our quiet, and our thinking. Hi JW, yes, some people just don’t do all the noticing, thinking, and reflecting about things; they just jump right in. That’s their own personality preference, but I certainly can’t (and don’t want to) imitate it. I hope people will appreciate you for who you are though, because you bring unique gifts and insights to the table. There has to be a balance in life, instead of everyone being extroverts. The world can’t be talk-talk-talk all the time – it also needs us introverts with our listening, our quiet, and our thinking.

]]> By: JW http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-699 JW Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:00:38 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-699 Hi Christie, I have always been doing things to the beat of my own drummer as well. What it comes down to for me is that I have just never been able to fit in well with any group. I have been thinking about that a lot recently, in terms of my personality and how I come across to others. I think that aside from being an introvert, I also have a strange sounding voice, it's monotone for the most part. I don't know if you know about that MTV animated character Daria from the self titled show "Daria" that used to air in the 90's, but that is one character whom I related, too, because I'm very much like that. Daria was a high school student who didn't really fit in with any of the social groups in her high school. The only friends she really had were a fellow student, Jane, and Jane's older, slacker/musician brother. And the show sort of made it a point of highlighting the different social groups and sort of parodying those groups in order to show how different Daria was. I kind of felt like that was my life in high school. That's pretty much always been my life, always standing a part from everyone else, just observing everything. I think that it has been somewhat to my detriment as well, because I could never just easily fit in and go along with everyone else. Some people, like those two "chamelion" friends of yours are the types who can pretty much blend in with any group. I've observed people like that in my own life. At first I kind of felt envious that they were able to blend in and get along with others so well, but I've realized that that's just how some people are, and I'll never be like that. I think the fact that I'm very observant of other people has been somewhat of a curse for me in some ways because that's another thing that keeps me from being close to a lot of people and being friends with people just so that I can be seen as easy to get along with. Hi Christie, I have always been doing things to the beat of my own drummer as well. What it comes down to for me is that I have just never been able to fit in well with any group. I have been thinking about that a lot recently, in terms of my personality and how I come across to others. I think that aside from being an introvert, I also have a strange sounding voice, it’s monotone for the most part. I don’t know if you know about that MTV animated character Daria from the self titled show “Daria” that used to air in the 90′s, but that is one character whom I related, too, because I’m very much like that. Daria was a high school student who didn’t really fit in with any of the social groups in her high school. The only friends she really had were a fellow student, Jane, and Jane’s older, slacker/musician brother. And the show sort of made it a point of highlighting the different social groups and sort of parodying those groups in order to show how different Daria was. I kind of felt like that was my life in high school.

That’s pretty much always been my life, always standing a part from everyone else, just observing everything. I think that it has been somewhat to my detriment as well, because I could never just easily fit in and go along with everyone else. Some people, like those two “chamelion” friends of yours are the types who can pretty much blend in with any group. I’ve observed people like that in my own life. At first I kind of felt envious that they were able to blend in and get along with others so well, but I’ve realized that that’s just how some people are, and I’ll never be like that.
I think the fact that I’m very observant of other people has been somewhat of a curse for me in some ways because that’s another thing that keeps me from being close to a lot of people and being friends with people just so that I can be seen as easy to get along with.

]]> By: IntrovertZone http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-697 IntrovertZone Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:02:58 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-697 DF that really hits home with me. Trying to be "outgoing" or other traits that we believe society expects really drains the batteries fast. I also have a core group of life-long friends with whom I am close and have always been totally myself - and it feels wonderful to be with them. What you said makes total sense - I have a feeling even the extroverts who are extreme chameleons probably don't have much self confidence - they just want to be what they think others want them to be. DF that really hits home with me. Trying to be “outgoing” or other traits that we believe society expects really drains the batteries fast. I also have a core group of life-long friends with whom I am close and have always been totally myself – and it feels wonderful to be with them. What you said makes total sense – I have a feeling even the extroverts who are extreme chameleons probably don’t have much self confidence – they just want to be what they think others want them to be.

]]> By: DF http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-694 DF Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:38:15 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-694 While in elementary school, my introversion was a point of ridicule from the majority of my classmates. I had a handful of close friends (3 of which I'm still in contact with today), but barely interacted with anyone outside of that circle. When I would talk to them as myself, the conversations were awkward and stilted because we didn't actually have anything to talk about. After some years of enduring that, I began to adopt that "chameleoning" as a survival mechanism, and wow, is that an incredibly tiring thing to do for me. I spent the end of middle school and pretty much all of high school doing it, and the acquaintances I made while not being myself felt so superficial, and I pretty much don't talk to any of them. The people to whom I still talk today are the ones I wasn't putting on a show for, anyway. Once I got to college, I began trying to just be myself again, but, even now, I occasionally find myself chameleoning a bit to get through the work day. At least for me, it's been an incredibly hard habit to break, but it's getting there. I can't speak for others, but for me, the whole social chameleon thing is a function of self-confidence. The more ok I feel with myself, the less I need to fake it. While in elementary school, my introversion was a point of ridicule from the majority of my classmates. I had a handful of close friends (3 of which I’m still in contact with today), but barely interacted with anyone outside of that circle. When I would talk to them as myself, the conversations were awkward and stilted because we didn’t actually have anything to talk about.

After some years of enduring that, I began to adopt that “chameleoning” as a survival mechanism, and wow, is that an incredibly tiring thing to do for me. I spent the end of middle school and pretty much all of high school doing it, and the acquaintances I made while not being myself felt so superficial, and I pretty much don’t talk to any of them. The people to whom I still talk today are the ones I wasn’t putting on a show for, anyway. Once I got to college, I began trying to just be myself again, but, even now, I occasionally find myself chameleoning a bit to get through the work day. At least for me, it’s been an incredibly hard habit to break, but it’s getting there.

I can’t speak for others, but for me, the whole social chameleon thing is a function of self-confidence. The more ok I feel with myself, the less I need to fake it.

]]> By: DoFollow: CommentLuved Finally :moralde.com http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-686 DoFollow: CommentLuved Finally :moralde.com Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:21:26 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-686 [...] Introvertzone.com [...] [...] Introvertzone.com [...]

]]> By: IntrovertZone http://introvertzone.com/thanks-but-i-have-my-own-drummer/comment-page-1#comment-682 IntrovertZone Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:44:21 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=587#comment-682 Great point Evan! I know I for one would definitely not be good at trying so hard to fit in to that extent; in fact it might even be a little ludicrous. I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am now, either. Great point Evan! I know I for one would definitely not be good at trying so hard to fit in to that extent; in fact it might even be a little ludicrous. I definitely wouldn’t be as happy as I am now, either.

]]>