I’m a teenage girl who has stumbled across your website, and it’s been both surprising and oddly comforting to read people’s posts about their personal experiences and to be able to relate to them.
Lately I’ve been taking part in a few of drama and music based intensive courses, designed for talented young people by highly esteemed organizations in the UK and, accordingly, I feel very privileged to have been given these opportunities.
However, these courses also involve being given a very short space of time to get to know whole new groups of people, a lot of whom are brimming with confidence and seem to find it very easy to interact with each other. One of the courses lasted almost 2 weeks in a residential environment, and involved 300 young people- I couldn’t wait to get away! This was in stark contrast to everyone around me, who all seemed to be having the time of their lives.
I often find myself feeling lost, and almost unworthy of my place there, as if I got in by accident. I do get to know a few people fairly well, but this still leaves me feeling alienated from the bigger group of tight friends which always seems to form.
I tend to dwell on this quite a lot, especially with the added pressure of Facebook- showing me how other people have managed to form bonds and stay in touch- and altogether it leaves me feeling slightly depressed and drained.
The pressure of constantly feeling like I needed to meet more people and make an impression just became too much.
This feeling of alienation is a very recent one, that I haven’t really experienced in school before, and has suddenly sprung up with the arrival of these courses. It’s really started worrying me for the future: university, drama school etc, which will seemingly be similar environments.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I can’t help being introverted- it’s who I am and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
However I really would appreciate any advice on how to deal with these situations, as I can foresee more of them in the future.
I also appreciate that this may have come out as one long rant, and I duly apologize.
16 year old, UK.
Photo credit: Alyssa L. Miller