How can this introvert get back into life – after becoming isolated while he was dedicated to caring for his family?

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Dear IntrovertZone,

First off, I enjoy your site, thank you. I’m a introvert in a rural area, It’s a lake club. In the off season its very quiet with one a few people now and then. I know these people because I’m also the caretake as well as a member. I moved to the lake years ago when my father was ill and stayed after his passing. I started taking care of my mother because her health took a turn about three years ago. She died in late oct. and I’m finding my self empty. I’m living here and I do enjoy my time back then and now but there is just almost no interaction with others. I go to a mental health group and a group member told me she would visit me because of my loneliness but I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone to visit, strange because thats what I want at times. Do you have any thoughts on how I can pick up that phone and call? fyi-47yr old div. male. Thank you

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4 Comments

  1. Well you’re in quite a rut arent you? Youre an introvert so you probably go through a cycle of recharging alone and connecting with others. Problem is, you dont have anymore built in relationships around you. You said only a few people live nearby. How many is a few and how close is nearby? Maybe to get something going with your neighbors you could start by doing something nice for them individually. Leave a bottle of wine on their step with a thoughtful note attached. In the note, offer to make dinner for them. You dont actually have to cook it yourself but its a nice gesture that opens communication in a subtle and introverted way. I can walk you through it if you like… You see what I did there? It’ll work 🙂

  2. We introverts…we want company, but, we don’t. We want interaction, but, we don’t. We want to socialize, but, we don’t. I’m sorry, 47yr old div. male, for the loss of your parents. Perhaps you and your group member can meet somewhere for a comfortable period of time. Coffee for half an hour. An aquarium for an hour or so. Spend some time together without your comfort zone becoming too encroached. Nonchalantly mention a time frame when making plans. Good luck to you, sir.

  3. A suggestion, start with a hobby or something you have always had an interest in, to learn of course. And (dare I say it) meetup.com. …just to start

  4. I just found this website this morning and am very glad to see I am not the only one out there dealing with the challenge of being an Introvert in a world of Extroverts. Despite my isolation and occasional feelings of loneliness, I enjoy the overall solitude. I am experiencing a similar situation as the person above. I lost my job to our friends in India about 3.5 years ago. At the time, my oldest was preparing to attend 1/2-day kindergarten and my youngest was 6 months old. It was a tough decision, giving the economy, but I chose to become an at-home father to my children. Now that they are older, I have been experiencing a form of cabin fever. I want to re-join the workforce, but years of isolation with no real adult interaction (other than my folks and my wife) have made the prospect of finding a job a very bitter and frustrating pill to swallow. I am currently in the process of self-discovery, learning more about my fairly rare ISTJ peronality and how best to procede. I am looking forward to reading and learning more from others on this site!

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