Comments on: Introverts need time alone, but we can also get lonely http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely The blog of a happy introvert! Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:53:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: cb http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1863 cb Sun, 25 Jul 2010 15:21:12 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1863 Hi DV - Oh yes, I've made the mistake of trying to talk to some ESxx about this sort of thing and gotten the most blank distrustful looks, or once even, "I don't care about personality tests; I just know how people act." WHAT??? I just try to keep things really general and superficial with that sort of person. :) I'm sorry you're in such a lonely situation and having a hard time looking for a job. You're obviously intelligent and express yourself well in writing, so be sure to write a great LinkedIn profile and connect to as many people as you know - even get some "recommendations" from them. Likewise beef up your Facebook - because even the busiest friends will check it at odd times - and maybe they can put you in touch with someone who's looking for a smart employee. It's sometimes amazing that just when I think I'm talking to people and keeping up with people from previous jobs it turns out they've all been talking to each other a LOT more and seeing each other more too. What seems sufficient contact to us introverts would seem to be sparse to many others. And - remember the extrovert who was always asking you to do stuff hwen you didn't have time - now you have time to just drop by or call him (he won't mind!) :) and see what he's up to! Good luck and please let us know how things go for you. Hi DV – Oh yes, I’ve made the mistake of trying to talk to some ESxx about this sort of thing and gotten the most blank distrustful looks, or once even, “I don’t care about personality tests; I just know how people act.” WHAT??? I just try to keep things really general and superficial with that sort of person. :)

I’m sorry you’re in such a lonely situation and having a hard time looking for a job. You’re obviously intelligent and express yourself well in writing, so be sure to write a great LinkedIn profile and connect to as many people as you know – even get some “recommendations” from them. Likewise beef up your Facebook – because even the busiest friends will check it at odd times – and maybe they can put you in touch with someone who’s looking for a smart employee. It’s sometimes amazing that just when I think I’m talking to people and keeping up with people from previous jobs it turns out they’ve all been talking to each other a LOT more and seeing each other more too. What seems sufficient contact to us introverts would seem to be sparse to many others.

And – remember the extrovert who was always asking you to do stuff hwen you didn’t have time – now you have time to just drop by or call him (he won’t mind!) :) and see what he’s up to! Good luck and please let us know how things go for you.

]]> By: DV http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1835 DV Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:37:29 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1835 Hey everyone, I have been browsing sites like this for about a year now. It's good to see that I'm not the only introvert out there, because it sure seems that way sometimes. I've still spent much more time reading what others write than communicating with them. So I will give this a shot. Part of me wants to let the whole world know about what the word "introvert" really means, but I've found that most people aren't even interested in psychology. Most people are what the MBTI refers to as "extroverted sensors", whereas I am an "introverted intuitive". Therefore, I am prone to be interested in theories and conceptual type stuff, and they are all about things that are tangible and care mostly about what can be processed through one of their five senses. They can't see how any of this kind of stuff could be useful in life. Well, for me, it certainly has been useful. I didn't even know that I was completley normal until researching this stuff. I used to think that I was just shy- and I have been shy, which we all know is not the same as being introverted- but the REASON that I have been shy is because most people treat me like there's something wrong with me. It's good to have something that "puts everything into words"- so to speak, but right now I'm having trouble finding a job, and I don't have many friends- and the ones that I do have are always busy. So, yes, I have been lonley. Most of my alone time, which I normally enjoy, is currently spent on trying to find a solution to this perdicament. I wouldn't really be able to talk to anybody about this even if I wanted to, because nobody I know in real life really understands, or is even interested in the type of problems that an introvert can face. They think you can just press a button and be "normal" like them. Hey everyone,

I have been browsing sites like this for about a year now. It’s good to see that I’m not the only introvert out there, because it sure seems that way sometimes. I’ve still spent much more time reading what others write than communicating with them. So I will give this a shot.

Part of me wants to let the whole world know about what the word “introvert” really means, but I’ve found that most people aren’t even interested in psychology. Most people are what the MBTI refers to as “extroverted sensors”, whereas I am an “introverted intuitive”. Therefore, I am prone to be interested in theories and conceptual type stuff, and they are all about things that are tangible and care mostly about what can be processed through one of their five senses. They can’t see how any of this kind of stuff could be useful in life.

Well, for me, it certainly has been useful. I didn’t even know that I was completley normal until researching this stuff. I used to think that I was just shy- and I have been shy, which we all know is not the same as being introverted- but the REASON that I have been shy is because most people treat me like there’s something wrong with me.

It’s good to have something that “puts everything into words”- so to speak, but right now I’m having trouble finding a job, and I don’t have many friends- and the ones that I do have are always busy. So, yes, I have been lonley. Most of my alone time, which I normally enjoy, is currently spent on trying to find a solution to this perdicament. I wouldn’t really be able to talk to anybody about this even if I wanted to, because nobody I know in real life really understands, or is even interested in the type of problems that an introvert can face. They think you can just press a button and be “normal” like them.

]]> By: cb http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1658 cb Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:16:21 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1658 Yep - I used to wish there was a big bulletin board of some kind that just my friends and I could see. Just to say, "If anyone wants to go to a movie Saturday afternoon.." because I didn't know which person to call if I did get an afternoon to myself! And now we have Facebook - :) So maybe that's a start..? Yep – I used to wish there was a big bulletin board of some kind that just my friends and I could see. Just to say, “If anyone wants to go to a movie Saturday afternoon..” because I didn’t know which person to call if I did get an afternoon to myself! And now we have Facebook – :) So maybe that’s a start..?

]]> By: cb http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1657 cb Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:14:40 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1657 I understand what you mean - definitely! Now - if any of those friends are introverts, then you know you can pick right back up - weeks later - and email them and suggest getting together, and they may be just about ready to do something social too. I know the extroverts can "get out of the habit" of contacting you... on the other hand, they love variety and a wide circle of friends, so don't be afraid to call one out of the blue and say hi and see if they want to get together! I was out of town when you wrote this. I hope you had a good weekend and were able to get with some friends! I understand what you mean – definitely! Now – if any of those friends are introverts, then you know you can pick right back up – weeks later – and email them and suggest getting together, and they may be just about ready to do something social too. I know the extroverts can “get out of the habit” of contacting you… on the other hand, they love variety and a wide circle of friends, so don’t be afraid to call one out of the blue and say hi and see if they want to get together! I was out of town when you wrote this. I hope you had a good weekend and were able to get with some friends!

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1599 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:01:57 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1599 So, I guess it's safe to say that neither of you -- or anybody here -- would find it odd that 99% of the time, my lunch break consists of getting whatever I am eating, walking a half mile to my truck, and reading one of my new magazines. (I subscribed to about four, so I always have new stuff to read.) Once, my boyfriend wanted to "surprise" me and showed up at work for lunch. It definitely did not go the way he intended because my whole routine (including mentally) was thrown off. By the way, I love this site too! Oddly enough, it was my boyfriend who did some research on "time alone" and introduced the introvert word to me. Today, I started my own search to see what was "wrong" with me that I need so much time alone and this has the the best find!! So, I guess it’s safe to say that neither of you — or anybody here — would find it odd that 99% of the time, my lunch break consists of getting whatever I am eating, walking a half mile to my truck, and reading one of my new magazines. (I subscribed to about four, so I always have new stuff to read.) Once, my boyfriend wanted to “surprise” me and showed up at work for lunch. It definitely did not go the way he intended because my whole routine (including mentally) was thrown off.

By the way, I love this site too! Oddly enough, it was my boyfriend who did some research on “time alone” and introduced the introvert word to me. Today, I started my own search to see what was “wrong” with me that I need so much time alone and this has the the best find!!

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1598 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:55:47 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1598 Oh, cb, can you please call my boyfriend and share that with him? While he is quite aware -- even painfully aware -- of my need for time alone, he always always always lingers (in person and on the phone and in texting!) -- to the point that I get annoyed and need even more time for recharging! Oh, cb, can you please call my boyfriend and share that with him? While he is quite aware — even painfully aware — of my need for time alone, he always always always lingers (in person and on the phone and in texting!) — to the point that I get annoyed and need even more time for recharging!

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1597 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:51:27 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1597 Haven't had that experience, but your statement about swearing cracked me up! Haven’t had that experience, but your statement about swearing cracked me up!

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1596 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:49:04 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1596 I LOVE going to movies by myself! I get the experience of the movie and the popcorn, but don't have to converse with anybody! :) I also LOVE going to restaurants by myself. I always feel just a tad awkward saying "Yes, just one," but once I'm seated and into my magazine, it's blissful. I can only do this when I have something to read though -- without it, it would be way too awkward. I LOVE going to movies by myself! I get the experience of the movie and the popcorn, but don’t have to converse with anybody! :) I also LOVE going to restaurants by myself. I always feel just a tad awkward saying “Yes, just one,” but once I’m seated and into my magazine, it’s blissful. I can only do this when I have something to read though — without it, it would be way too awkward.

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1595 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:45:28 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1595 Miyuki, I know the feeling. I've started wondering if it's an initiating thing. I long for the weekend where I don't have to go to work, be around people, etc. I don't make plans with anybody. (I'm new to this part of the country so only know a couple people.) Then when I hear my friend went out Saturday night -- two blocks from my house -- it pinches a little that I was not invited. Is it that she knows I cherish my time alone so she doesn't want to intrude; or is it that I should say "Do you want to do something this weekend?" Miyuki, I know the feeling. I’ve started wondering if it’s an initiating thing. I long for the weekend where I don’t have to go to work, be around people, etc. I don’t make plans with anybody. (I’m new to this part of the country so only know a couple people.) Then when I hear my friend went out Saturday night — two blocks from my house — it pinches a little that I was not invited. Is it that she knows I cherish my time alone so she doesn’t want to intrude; or is it that I should say “Do you want to do something this weekend?”

]]> By: CLA http://introvertzone.com/introverts-need-time-alone-but-can-get-lonely/comment-page-1#comment-1594 CLA Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:40:15 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=447#comment-1594 I always want more, more, more time alone..... .....and then moments will come along where I feel very lonely -- for outings with friends. Not for phone calls or e-mail or going shopping -- but lunch, a walk, a movie or something like that. My boyfriend would spend 24/7 with me if he could, but (a) that's just not me; and (b) even when I'm feeling "lonely" it isn't a longing for boyfriend/partner time. I always want more, more, more time alone….. …..and then moments will come along where I feel very lonely — for outings with friends. Not for phone calls or e-mail or going shopping — but lunch, a walk, a movie or something like that. My boyfriend would spend 24/7 with me if he could, but (a) that’s just not me; and (b) even when I’m feeling “lonely” it isn’t a longing for boyfriend/partner time.

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