Introverted teen wants others to appreciate and enjoy her too

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A teenager submitted this question. She’s great to be with and mature and a good listener, but next to more flamboyant people she feels pretty boring!

Ok, so i’m 16 and i’m a total introvert… i’ve always noticed how after being around lots of people i just needed be alone for awhile and how i just love deep convos rather then short chitchat but i always didnt know why and i really thought i was the only one like that – until i discovered the whole introvert & extroverts concept and then i felt more confident to know its a personal trait that alot of people have!

well it seems my whole family are extroverts and the ones that are introverts are not as much as me and all my friends are the “life of the party” types and i just feel so boring and “prude” to them and i just i dont want to change how i am but i do want to seem more appealing, i guess? and i just how all the other kids in my family are extroverts and it seems everybody wants to hang with them from my family to their friends and when my friends do ask to hang with me, i feel its only cause they say im such a great listener and they just someone to vent to and they say im “mature” but they never just say omg had fun with u or i miss hanging w/ u they just say miss u and i dont know i just feel loved for me, i jsut feel loved for what i do and how im supposively easy to talk to and a mature kid… help

Photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

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11 Comments

  1. SomeCanadianPerson on

    Hello there,
    I was glad you wrote that you didn’t want to change how you are. You shouldn’t. I’m sure you are an interesting person. If others don’t see it that way, don’t feel the need to be more “appealing”. Just find the right people to hang out with. I’m not suggesting you need to ditch your friends, but you can’t force them to change what they appreciate anymore than you can change whom you are. You can make an effort to be more extroverted, but if you try too hard and you drift too far from your personality, you won’t feel like yourself.

    Maybe this doesn’t apply to you, but when I was graduating from high school, a lot of people were really sad because they were afraid of losing touch with their friends. You will keep contact with the people you really care for and you will certainly also meet others along the way. Hope that helps.

    • Danielle@proudintrovert on

      @somecanadianperson – Thanks! yeah i would never want to change who i am for someone else, that goes against my whole morals in life… i just want to feel appreciated i guess? and just to feel like i effect people in our friendships, cause i think its good to have friends that effect u in positive ways and just make u happy.
      yeah i know watcha mean i am starting realize i should start to grow apart from my friends and i mean not completely loose touch with them cause theyre great people but just find more people like me in the introverted aspect! trust me i learned the hard way on that i tried to seem more outgoing and “confident” (and people seemed to feed off my energy) but i just felt i was coming off as fake, and it was just too much! and sometimes i find myself surrounded by extroverts and its just overwhelming sometimes….

      See thats why i cant wait for college, cause hopefully everyone will be over the high school phase of “finding who are” thing, and they’ll be comfortable enough with who are to just stop trying to seem extroverted when its obvious theyre not cause when i do meet introverted people its obvious we connect but they dont wanna hang with me when the extroverts come along (its as if i’m ruining their ego or somethin) cause people now are still trying to do whatver is possible for attention or to seem “cool” and its just pathetic to me but hey its high school…lol and see one of my good friends used to be an introvert, maybe even more then me but now we go to different high schools and it seems shes become more extroverted and wats cool is shes still the same old girl from middle school shes just more confident with herself and more outgoing but wats crazy is she says at her school she feels like everyone hates her… i guess noone really ever is happy with who they are…

  2. Good point Some Canadian Person.
    I like the part where you don’t want to change who you are too. You know, in this crazy life you can’t please everybody so might as well just love yourself, enjoy what you’re doing, and eventually you will find the group of people you’ll love and will appreciate you for who you are. Be comfortable of who you are, that’s what makes you confident. Don’t let other people affect you too much. 🙂 have a great life! ^_^
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  3. I am also an introvert and I think there is nothing wrong with it, my story is same as you and I think an introvert person can be a good friend with an introvert person and yes we sometimes feel lonely but I think we cant be extrovert and it is not easy to change your nature but be communicative and positive.
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  4. If your character makes negative impressions then you have to change it. If it bothers you and a lot of people then change it. But if it only bothers one or two then the hell with them. You are unique. well we are all unique but there are instances when we need to change for us to be appreciated. Well not that much but at least we can go with the flow. right?

  5. It’s just rude to be called a “listening ear” rather than a friend, that’s just unfair. I hope you find yourself a group that will accept you and let you feel that you belong no matter what personality you have. Introvert or extrovert it doesn’t matter for those who see you for what you are.

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