Introvert is overwhelmed from arranging for apartment repairs

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This question is from an introvert who is getting overwhelmed by all the errands and interaction needed to get repairs done to an apartment before she can move in.

Hello,
I’m an introvert trying to move into an apartment left to me by my grandma when she died some years ago. The place is a wreck, it needs lots of repairs. As I am the legal owner it is me who has to run around the administrators’ office, schedule people to come fix this or that, or install the Internet and be there when they do. It is all very draining and there seems to be no end to it. I try to spread the appointments out a little, but my boyfriend wants us to move in in there as soon as possible. Sometimes things are urgent and cannot be replied with a “no” on my part (for example the upstairs neighbour flooding the kitchen – getting both of our schedules to match up with the plumber’s resulted in “OK, be there tomorrow at 8am” – that’s really not enough warning time for me.) It’s gotten to a point that I’m getting anxiety attacks and trouble breathing, not to mention my sleeping got so chaotic that I can’t even recharge at night.

I’m sure there are plenty of introverts out there who managed to successfully renovate/build/decorate their place, how did you all do it? Any tips welcome.

Photo credit: KiSS_Ze_CHeF

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27 Comments

  1. If you’re having “double breathing” and “anxiety attacks” there’s probably something wrong with you. Go see a doctor.

    A lack of private downtime makes me cranky, not sick.

    I just moved to a new place and it’s been busy ever since; but I’m quite sure it’ll be over eventually. I put off what I can.

    And if your boyfriend is in such a hurry, make him help out. Make it so that moving in early is possible, but only with his help.

    • Oh, he’s helping. He does basically everything he can – heavy lifting, cleaning up, packing things up and unpacking them. It’s just all those legal matters…

      You get cranky, I get depressed – it was my default for around 9 years. But now I’m in a more healthy place, and when I try to revert to the default, I start panicking. Is this making sense? I know I’d usually get depressed, which results in rising anxiety for it not to happen.

      Sigh. For now we’re putting off as much as possible.

  2. Is there anyone you could hire to meet the plumber or other workers – if all they have to do is be there and let them in…? Would be nice if there’s a mature teen you can trust who you’d hire to “babysit” but instead of a baby it’s just being at the apartment so that some work can get done.

  3. I can relate to this…I think.

    Whenever I have to make appointments, or make some kind of inquiry, no matter how small, it can be very mentally uncomfortable.

    For one thing, this stuff most commonly takes place over the phone, which is a nightmare in itself. Will the right person answer? Will I have to leave a message? What do I even say in that message without sounding like a bumbling idiot? And if you do get the right person on the phone, what if they’re unpleasant to deal with? Will they be able to solve my problem or answer my question? If not, then what? On the plus side to all that though, it’s never as bad as I expect it will be. After all, it’s their JOB to help.

    I find it interesting though that having to be there while they do their work is a drain. Do they insist on making small talk all morning? In my experience, you just show them the thing they need to fix and the place they need to do it, and then leave them alone to work their magic while you go about your business within earshot in case they need to ask questions.

    This might seem counter-intuitive, but one option might be to lump everything that needs to be done as close together as possible. It’s the classic band-aid analogy…rip it quick, and while the pain might be greater, it’s for a much shorter period of time…and then you can recharge and enjoy the peace and quiet of the finished product to your hearts content afterward. But if you rip it slow, the pain is drawn out over a much longer duration and you’re still not moved in to your new place.

    I hope you figure it out.

    • Hi Andrew
      you hit the nail on the head: it’s the ARRANGING of the meetings that’s most horrible. Once they’re here, I just leave them be and have tea with a friend in the other room. But getting them to come over… Will a phone call be enough? Do I have to go to the building administration office? Again? Will I have to write a proper notification or request, nonetheless? Half of the things are already done (at least the obvious issues), but still new things are popping up… Stretching the thing indefinitely.
      I think we need to make a list of every single possible thing that needs to be done and make the arrangements in bulk, at least the end will be in sight.
      Thanks for everyone’s suggestionsl.

  4. Being in a new environment can be very stressing esp if you’re an introvert and you have to meet new people everyday. Not to mention that you have to run errands and do chores. This kind of situation can be very difficult indeed. Just go with the flow and manage to survive the first few weeks. I’m sure you’ll get around it.

  5. Well, transferring to a new place can be very stressful, I think the best thing that you should do is to take a break every now and then but don’t overdo it. Making a list of the things that you have to repair will help so you’ll be organized.

  6. it’s the ARRANGING of the meetings that’s most horrible. I start my new schedule today!  Hopefully this will keep me on track, and help me avoid burnout.  We shall see!
    Rowena´s last post ..Who We Are

  7. You know what? If you try to panic most of the times, you can’t think anymore. Your mind would just simply think negative and in the end, you won’t accomplish anything. Having a mind set will help you find possible solutions to your problems. Always remember that there are always remedies in every problem.
    Brian@buckhead ga homes´s last post ..Hello world!

  8. I think you should use a planner. List down all the things that are needed to repair so that you will not be confuse. You can organize the things that are needed if you are also set your mind to it. Just be calm so that nothing bad will happen to you. You and your boyfriend should help one another.

  9. I am an introvert, but my best friend is an introvert to the extreme- he wasn’t always that way but over the past few years he has become more and more of a shut-in. He recently bought a house and has been going through a lot of the same issues, I try to talk him through it but he doesn’t usually listen to anyone. I know it’s hard but sometimes you just have to suck it up, know that these issues will be over once dealt with. The longer you put things off, the more of a pain they will become to deal with later. Just write out a list, try and get things done as quickly as possible and remember – breathe!

  10. Well, I guess you really have to use your creativity. If you don’t want to ask some expert’s advise of renovations from the outside world because you are “introvert” then ask Mr. Google, cos either you’re introvert or extrovert, you questions will be answered and you may also want to see some DIY ideas, well, we have instructables dot com to help you too.
    Stayner@estate agents cardiff´s last post ..Purchasing A home ? Bad weather, Sun, and Weather Issues

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