Introvert finds too much change stressful


Dear IntrovertZone,

Some ppl thrive on change but as an intovert how do you deal with that? Most quote states, “change is the fruit of human exsistance” but in my case, I freak out especially if it involves taking me away from the familar (ie: a job opportunity out of state). please help me learn how to deal with the stress!

Photo credit: SashaW



  1. Change was something I resisted for years…but slowly, I realized that inertia is everywhere. Change is inevitable.

    Nature. Time. People. Cultures. Work. Our Body.

    They all change…some much slower than others. As an extreme introvert, I found it difficult to “change quickly” but realized that if I used that to my advantage it would open a lot more doors. Instead of a knee jerk reaction when something new is proposed, I step back and let introspection take over.

    Something all introverts should be good at!

    When it sinks in, I have taken the time to review all the information. Instead of worrying about the “what if” I realize that the result could also be a positive one. An experience that is worth living for and exploring. It doesn’t mean you have to make the change, just examine it.

    The world really is your oyster. Step back to review it and when you are ready take a step. Now, I adjust well to all change, just not in the moment.

  2. I don’t think you have to be worried and stressed to find excitement. Trips, romantic interludes, exploring new places, partying with friends, learning new things, can bring a sense of adventure without setting your nerves on edge.
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  3. I’ve become an extreme introvert the last few years and I used to “freak” out over change as well. I actually like change (especially since I get bored easily), except when it’s not my decision. I may be a bit of a control freak and that’s why I used to resist change that I didn’t initiate. It was the worst when it came to work (getting a new boss unexpectedly, etc).

    I finally learned that sometimes change is good though. Like simplysteven said, I just learned to sit back and think about it. Try to find something good about the change. Most of the time, I end up liking the change.

    I would suggest making a list of pros and cons about a situation when there’s a change. I started doing this years ago and it really helps put things into perspective. If something really bothers you or there are more cons on the list, think about how you can turn them into positives. If that doesn’t work, start thinking about how you can change the situation for the better. It’s all about coping and figuring out for yourself how to make life work for you.

    Prevention is the key, in my opinion. Once I’m stressed, that’s it for me. I never really have figured out to deal with stress other than staying home away from the rest of the world and spend time alone.

  4. George Bradshaw on

    This is exactly what happens with me with a sudden change. Being an introvert I can’t even walk up to someone and talk about it. I also need suggestions on this matter.
    Thank you for bringing up this topic. I think I’ll also be helped from the suggestions you get.

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  5. It’s pretty normal for everyone to be resistant to change. Anything uncertain is pretty scary and moving to a new job in a new town is significantly stressful, one of the most stressful things anyone can do–even though it can also be exciting. Best wishes for you

  6. Change is really stressful not only for introverts but also for extroverts but extroverts can deal them more easily. Just think that change is just in the meantime. It will be stable soon as you get used to it. Are you planning to change your career path?

    I hope you’ll learn to deal with change slowly.

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  7. I’ve found that first stepping back and accepting a few things helps. So for example, accepting that you ARE worried or anxious about the change and that’s ok. Anxiety isn’t bad in and of itself. It’s just our body and mind’s way of telling us to “be careful” in this situation.

    It’s when anxiety gets out of hand that it becomes a problem. But by first accepting it, acknowledging it, you take it’s power away. So basically you tell your anxiety, “Yeah, I hear you. I know this is a new situation and I’ll be alert…”

    Then you get rational. You logically think out what’s the worse that could happen and if that’s really likely or not. This way, you’re irrational emotions aren’t controlling you so much anymore. You’re the one in control.
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  8. I think lot of things will be stressful .. I like quiet, peaceful places, and I do not like to be the center of attention. Public speaking is not my cup of tea, and I can communicate much better through the written word.
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  9. Changes is a factors that will bring you to the point of satisfaction, But changes will not socially for good, Its depends to the person that handle in every situation. Nevertheless, Changes is for good not for lust.
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  10. I agree with simply stephen: taking a step back and evaluating what is going on is the only way I find some peace in the midst of hectic change. My life is always so quickly changing. Much faster than I would want it to; but I need to not fight it. Instead I evaluate what I can do to focus in the positive. What actions can I take to make a difference? This helps me stay grounded. Hope this helps you too.
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  11. “change is the fruit of human exsistance” that surely can be true, but some of us just feels uncomfy. My advice is to tryout something totally new in your life like snowboarding or karate, something not ordinary, something that gona burn your interest 🙂

  12. Not a huge fan of big change myself. The only wisdom I can offer to you is to learn to accept it because it’s going to happen one way or another. Instead of freaking out think about what you are going to do as a result of this change.

    How will you adapt essentially? Another thing to keep in mind is to have distractions around in order to deal with the initial stress of the change.
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  13. Change i something we all need. Change should always be for the better, but it may turn out the opposite way at times. It depends on you how you handle the change.


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  14. We can never stop change to occur especially in our lives. What I do is go with the flow but I see to it that I change for the better and only change atleast one step at a time. Always think positive for any changes that would come your way.

  15. Hello, I’m a psychologist – hopefully my clarification is helpful. Anyhow, the notion that introverts are adverse to change is actually very misleading. In fact, psychometrics show that ‘Openess to Change’ is a separate dimension within it’s own right (and is often captured in many standardized personality tests). The trait that loads most highly on introversion is a dimension called ‘Warmth’. A misleading name and concept I know, but ‘Warmth’ basically measures how energized people are by being around others. Needless to say, introverts score lower on ‘warmth’ than extroverts because introverts need sufficient time alone to recharge.

    ‘Openess to Change’ however measures your susceptibility and willingness to explore new ideas and try/experience new things as opposed to preferring set standards, routine and repetition. Thus, it doesn’t necessarily mean that introverts aren’t open to change. In fact you’ll find that many introverts are very open to change since exploring new thoughts ideas and environments are part of who we are.

    Openess to Change is actually a trait which means that for the most part, it’s a diposition and tendency that people are born with. Fortunately though it’s actually one of the more adaptable traits that can be altered over time.

    I think a part of your fear towards change stems from an insecurity of being judged when put into unfamiliar territory. A fear of letting people down or coming across silly or incompetent if you do something wrong.

    One way of overcoming it is to think that everyone is this world makes mistakes . In fact, mistakes is the way we learn best. However, it’s your capacity to understand what went wrong and learn from it that makes a difference. Nothing in this world is static and everything is constantly changing from one second to the next even if you can’t see it. Thus it’s important to realise that even if you are in an unfamiliar environment or even if you do make a mistake that eventually things will blow over and people will keep moving on.

    • Thanks for the advice. There will always be a part of me that fear the unknown and being judged (that has always been my issue). I’m learning to move forward and enjoy what life brings my way no matter what ppl think.

  16. I’m an introvert, too, but I don’t think that changes should mean stress at the same time. Changes can make my mood better, in some cases. Sometimes, it could be nice to get out from the comfort zone and do some experiences. As an introverted, I do it always on my own.
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    • I agree its nice to have a change…there are days I get bored too. Having a friends around make my day better 🙂

  17. i was introvent and think that i am still
    a few years ago my introvert nature was so big that i begin ill on anxiety disorder ,neurosis had from child ,introvert is no easy espesialy when is realate with another problems i suposse that i have too boderline but not diagnosis by doctors

    i think that the bester think is not thing bad about yourself like I am introver and this is not good ,be gentle
    try talk with people go ahead dont think a lot about past and the future
    i know what introver people oftem dream about be extavert i think that the better is permission with own introvential nature not try change

  18. when we permision with own introvert nature we unlock emotion from the past we truly change when we try change we flee

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