Thanks so much for your comment, and I hope you’ll return to Introvert Zone soon!

One facet of this is something I found out when I visited San Francisco a couple of years ago: I found it really difficult to handle the way people in shops asked me how I was doing. I understand completely that it’s just an empty phrase in most cases, and of course I’m capable of smiling and saying “Fine, thanks” (and I still don’t know if that’s the expected response!), but it seemed like such an inappropriate and intimate question that very soon I stopped going into shops unless I really had to. Not to mention the practice of asking for my _name_ in coffee shops – how hard is it to say “One latte is ready” or just give the customers a number, and call out “Number fifteen”? The coffee shop staff are not my friends, they don’t need to know and use my name, it’s another forced simulated intimacy that to me as a Swede and as an introvert is very off-putting indeed. (And because the spelling of my name isn’t obvious to an English-speaker, I ended up having to spell out my name every time I wanted a cup of coffee, and more often than not it was misspelt on the cup anyway. How friendly is that?) Eventually I started telling them my name was Mary, just to get out of the situation…

Like Deb I find that when I ride my bike to work I’m more likely to be “warmed up” and more capable of engaging with people as soon as I enter the door. But not always, especially in winter when it’s cold and wet outside.
heather´s last blog ..Sweetpea Journey #6: More Than the Sum of Its Parts

I had a professor, several years ago, who mentioned this type of mentality in the workplace. She said that sometimes employees will try to run the quiet coworker out of the workplace. At first I didn’t really take her seriously, until I started to think back to a couple of experiences I had had early on in my working days, and some experiences that I have had since my professor mentioned it, and I realized that my former professor had been absolutely correct.

On a side note, the trip was fun after I was allowed my own time and did some wandering of my own : )

I like that – maybe for an imaginary plaque on my desk. “GO AWAY. And don’t be pissy.”

I would rather have someone ask me “Are you OK?” than have him or her assume that I’m in a bad mood because I’m quiet. I often get accused of being “crabby” and “in a bad mood” when I want to be left alone. If someone would ask me, with genuine concern, “Are you OK?” I think I’d be glad to answer in kind, “Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking, I’m just enjoying some quiet time.” Provided of course that the person would GO AWAY after that without getting all pissy about it.

One more observation – sometimes people really ARE being friendly and concerned and caring. But my experience has been that usually they aren’t – usually, they just want an audience. “Are you OK?” means “Can I talk TO you about MY problems?” “Did you have a nice weekend?” means “I want to tell you all about MY weekend but I think it’s just polite to ask about yours first; I know you won’t say much but then I can tell you ALL about mine.” I know I sound cynical and maybe a little bitter, but I’m really tired of people sucking energy from me all day long!
hermit loner´s last blog ..A Little Privacy, A Lot of Happy