I hope everything works out for you.

Aimee

Hope your situation gets better,
Miyuki

I think part of what makes me and some others so angry is that we would not ask someone for this sort of favor. We nearly kill ourselves making sure we don’t overstep other peoples’ boundaries, then when they don’t seem to have to follow the same high standards we have set for ourselves we are angry. I’m trying to learn to understand that not everyone is sensitive/empathetic, so maybe they don’t hear our first, gentle, “No.”

Now the whole thing has blown up into a fight, and do I need to say that my sister has done nothing wrong, and that it’s all MY fault? I’ll spare you all the details, it’s too twisted to follow anyway. I am cutting off contact with her, my other sister, who lives out of state, is going to keep tabs on her. Thank you all for your support, it has helped me a lot!

I suggest an auto feeder. Mine was $50 and it’s never failed us. And even better… I don’t have to feed the kitties when I am home either. :] We also have an auto litter box and water fountain, but they’re more for the kitties than us. We’ve left them for up to 5 days with no problem!

I know my advice is more for the kitties, but frankly, I like Bella’s sister’s kitties more than I like her sister. She needs a reality check, but it will likely come from a significant other or friends. It doesn’t sound as if Bella really has a voice in their relationship. I don’t know why people think family is there to walk all over rather than lean on. Bella, maybe get your sis an auto feeder for her birthday (just so the kitties don’t suffer). :]

Actually, my sister has not run over me in the past. What’s changed is that earlier this year I relocated to the city where she lives, moving across country. Ever since I got here, she’s been trying to control me, and make me do things for her. She was the one who encouraged me to move here, and paved the way…now I think I know why. We had lived in different cities for 30 years. We had a giant blowup a few months back, and had just re-established some fragile harmony when she pulled the catsitting stunt. It’s further complicated by the fact that she is bipolar, and is someone said, has little empathy for others. She reacts inappropriately to even mild criticism, so my tendency to go along to keep the peace really comes into play. And she knows, as an animal lover, that I’d never let her cats suffer because I’d like to make HER suffer!

Again, I appreciate your input. Finding this site is like finding a handful of people from my own planet, here in this world of extroverts! (I’m an INFP.)

Good luck : )

Just like kids testing there parents to see how far they can push them, we still do this to some extent when we grow up. Of course every body does it in different ways, her sister doing it in a some what of a bully manor. Just like we test our boss and our employees test us to see what they can get away with, her sister has done this with her.

That being said, her sister is acting the way she has been trained to act. Frankly, Bella has let her get away with it in the past so she keeps doing, probably bigger things each time.

I’m not trying to attack her, it’s just a reality. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.

The only way to solve this is to be straight with her, no fluff, straight to the point. It may not be easy but she will have much more respect for her and there relationship will be stronger because of it.

This is only my opinion based on the limited info I have.

Bella, Good luck with that situation, I hope I was able to help in some way.

Being an introvert, a vegan and who I generally am, I would probably say no. In the end it’s not my responsibility to pick up after people who can’t take care of their own life.
If I were to say yes, I would be extremely clear that this would be the last time and really be specific on why.

The reason I would choose to be so vocal and strict about this is not just because who I am, but people like your sister tend to float through life doing whatever they see fit as too few people explain what they are doing might be socially wrong.

When I was younger I was too nice now and then, but with age (I’m not that old though) I’ve become more stern and have a stronger will. I don’t care if you’re family, the king or whatever, I will say no regardless. Sure, some might get pissed and hate me the rest of their life, but that shows how (un)important I truly was to them.

You don’t always have to be direct either. I have a lot of close people who are non the wiser about the tactics I use to keep them at bay. I rather keep the peace with some distance, because if some of them are sadly too ignorant to understand that certain things they do to people are and can be very wrong.