Comments on: Introvert does not equal doormat!

By: Sarah@h1n1 symptoms

Sarah@h1n1 symptoms — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:37:20 +0000

Yeah sometimes I consider myself too nice. But I’m not really in intervert though. I like to help people and do favors. I just have to learn how to say no more often. Having said all that my friends really wouldn’t consider me a push over. I tend to do too many favors in the computer world. Because I’m a computer nerd everyone thinks they can come to me for tech support. Sure I’ll spend 3 hours of my time doing you a favor. Sometimes people forget that it sometimes takes a long time to fix certain things.
Sarah@h1n1 symptoms´s last post ..Is it h1n1 swine flu or the regular flu?

By: Kayle

Kayle — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 06:36:20 +0000

I can relate. I suddenly found a HUGE upsurge in bullying, manipulation, lying, obstreperance, cheating, and just plain old rudeness and all-out harassment the minute I left pro-intellectual environment, even though I was never one to stand for wing controlled or lied to. I went from being obviously smart and well-put together and tough-minded but fair and non-judgmental to “neurotic, anal, dumb, naive, mean, stupid…” basically everything people put on introverts, especially when they’re young and female). It’s like people target obvious introverts ?or anyone alone and fitting society’s idea of less-than or a ‘victim profile’? as marks for all that stuff.

By: Telisha Simmons

Telisha Simmons — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 22:51:26 +0000

I agree, I do believe that we introverts need to learn how to stand up for ourselves against ANYONE. I am currently in a crazy ass situation were I don’t think I would be in if I spoken up for myself. Additionally, I use to feel like a doormat all thought out my school years to people I didn’t even like. However, I grew to be a little wiser and stronger which blocks some of those push overs. Furthermore, I think that their should be workshops, support groups, and pages like this + facebook (where Introverts can connect with each other and be their selves), or a group for Introverts on Facebook, etcetera. BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ARE ALLOT OF INRTOVERTS THINKING THEIR ARE ALONE AND THAT IS NOT TRUE.

By: Al

Al — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 17:10:01 +0000

Well, I am certainly sorry you feel that way. Cats ARE social creatures, just the reason we have more than one. If someone came over to check on them, they would dart under a bed never to be seen. They are not comfortable around people with whom they are not familiar, so for them, it is much less stressful to be left alone. I also mentioned that I feel terrible for leaving them period. I’ve come home from trips early just to be with them. They are my children and I love them endlessly… I NEVER treat them cruelly. I put their happiness and comfort above my own, so you see, your assumption is pretty offensive and off-putting. I don’t appreciate it at all. Feel free to keep any further opinions on how I care for my cats to yourself. I wasn’t asking for advice, I was simply making a suggestion about a method that works well for me and my furry family.

By: Sam@Steam Cleaner Reviews

Sam@Steam Cleaner Reviews — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 20:18:12 +0000

I have to agree with Xen. I have had similar problems with this in my life with my brother. It all determines on the person you are dealing with. We do not know what she is like or what the relationship is like however we do not want is generally right and wrong.

Most people also learn in different methods, ways, or experiences and I think sometimes we can get our point across with a lot more ease if we new how to minipluate this a little into our favor.

For example I have brother who is going to be a great leader however if he can’t stop being a leader/boss to everyone else around him even when he’s not in the position yet. He doesn’t even realize what he is doing is wrong. So rather than be upfront with him as I new he would get defensive and ignore me I decided to take a different approach and turn the tides back on him.

I asked him how was his day? Of course out come all the idiots! I stopped him. I don’t care about them, so what did you do today? blah blah… comes back to the idiots he wants to life coach.

So I said they don’t interest me if I wanted to know about them I’d ask. Also its not your job to tell them what to do, if they aren’t doing their job it reflects badly on their managers not you. So why do keep insisting on cleaning up after the managers when you don’t have too? Because I have too, if noone else is! Not yet brother, very soon, if you put your head down and get your bosses job.

By: Becky

Becky — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 14:15:32 +0000

I was a people pleaser during my high school years, but after that- I finally learned to say “no” and mean it. One of my friends kept asking to stay at my house, and I said “yes” every time because she pushed me until I gave in to her request. Resentment built up inside of me, and I started phasing her out after we went away to different colleges. She came back to my city for homecoming weekend and dropped hints that she wanted to use my parents’ house as a free hotel. I totally ignored her hints, and after that- she never spoke to me again.

Heh, it’s amazing how “friends” disappear into thin air once I tell them “no.”

By: Emily Roberts

Emily Roberts — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 06:34:05 +0000

Man, I can relate to your and Andrew’s stories very well, JW; I am on the forensics (debate/drama) team, and I was partnered with an acquaintance/friend to practise a duo (two-man skit) two weeks before the tournament where we had to perform it. Well, we only meet twice a week, and for the first week, we were still organising our scripts, pulling bits out and rearranging the lines so that they fit within the required 10 minute time frame, and after that we only had a week to get all our lines memorised, and only two opportunities to practise them in front of the coach to get feedback. Well, this friend of mine, I knew to be somewhat of a procrastinator (once he waited until the day before a tournament to get all his lines for a poetry piece memorised) but I didn’t expect him to be that way when he had a partner on the line. Needless to say, he skipped out of practise entirely on Tuesday with some vague excuse that I don’t even remember, so I had no one to even go over my lines with, and on Thursday, two days before the tournament, he showed up half an hour late and with only half his lines memorised! Needless to say, I was not impressed. Somehow though, he managed it; he got those lines down in two days flat and was ready to perform on Saturday. I was amazed. Still, the worry and annoyance he put me through during the last week was not at all appreciated.

By: Bella

Bella — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 20:10:05 +0000

Me, too. Oprah calls it “the disease to please”. I’m slowly getting cured, though, heh.

By: IntrovertZone

IntrovertZone — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:20:07 +0000

Thanks Bella – I’ve definitely been a people pleaser – and then I get resentful pretty quickly if I start to feel pushed or abused.

By: Bella

Bella — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 00:24:19 +0000

Good for you, sounds like you are on the road to reclaiming your life and energy.

It’s a very different experience, helping someone because you want to, versus doing it because you think you have to. The first one energizes you, the second one is draining.

You might find it easier to go cold turkey for a while and take a break from helping people until you’ve got your balance back. One day you might feel the urge to help someone and really enjoy doing so.