Comments on: I hate to spend the night at other peoples’ houses

By: Jean

Jean — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 21:02:05 +0000

I pulled up this site because I was wondering if anyone felt the same as me. I didn’t have a problem spending the night out as a child. I had some great friends and I always wanted share whatever time I had with them. But, as an adult, I hate staying the night at someone’s house. I have similar thoughts like am if I the only one awake or can I get in the shower now….stuff like that. I am never comfortable staying at anyone’s house. I don’t have a germ phobia but I am very cautious about sharing bathrooms, about sleeping in the open or just being among people that I am truly not associated with. This is even true for unfamiliar family members. I realize that I miss a lot at times but if at all possible, I’d rather stay at a hotel. I just don’t like sleeping at someone’s house. I don’t like being alone especially around the holidays but I’d rather if it means sleeping out. I’m ok with others staying at my house as a matter of fact I’d rather someone stay at my house than to stay with them. Ba-hum-bug. I am totally an introvert.

By: Weirdo

Weirdo — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 11:38:15 +0000

This site is such a blessing. I feel like I’m an absolute weirdo, especially since I come from a collectivist culture where there’s even a saying about house guests being like visiting gods. I personally loathe being a house guest or having them over. I literally have a nervous breakdown if it’s more than 3 days. And sharing a bathroom? The horror, the traumatic horror of it? I find it impossible to even, er, answer when nature calls. I’m OK with long evenings, even, but something about other people breathing under the same roof and the prospect of meeting them first thing at breakfast just makes me want to slash my own throat.

By: CMC

CMC — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:34:47 +0000

Hi! I am currently 15 and found out about 6-8 months ago I’m an introvert. I’ve NEVER liked staying at someone’s house that I wasn’t totally comfortable with. There was only one house that I enjoyed staying at until recently. But I recently stayed overnight at my auntie and uncles house and it was fun! Except for the awkward part: is everyone up? Can I get up? Etc,etc. This article really helped me to understand that I’m not the only person who really loves the comfort of being alone and in your own house.
thanks so much!!!

By: The Shytrovert

The Shytrovert — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 01:41:13 +0000

I feel ya. I actually hate having strangers or relative strangers spend the night at my house. It just feels weird for many of the reasons you outlined. My husband wanted to invite a colleague from another country to come and stay with us for a week. I don’t know her at all, he barely knows her, and I was extremely uncomfortable about it. He tried to make me sound as if I were rigid and weird about it.

He kept saying, “I’m not like that!” I don’t think I’m wrong for not wanting to run some type of flop house. He also regularly invites his friends to stay over if they’ve had too much to drink. It hasn’t happened thus far and I hope it never does. I just don’t feel like I can relax and be myself in the company of relative strangers, no matter how nice they are.

That’s another weird extrovert thing. “You should be comfortable around so-n-so you don’t know from Adam because they’re sooooo nice.” Who cares? They are strangers, bottom line. I need time to get to know someone before I feel comfortable with them. That seems to be a very hard concept for extroverts to grasp because they feel instant rapport with almost anyone.

By: Kelsey

Kelsey — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 10:31:34 +0000

Staying over at others places or going on group trips is fun, but tourture at the same time. The only places I’ve ever been able to stay comfortably are my parents, and a couple close relatives places (those close relatives also being introverts helped I think). I grew up on a farm, plenty of open space and places to be alone when needed, feels so nice to go back after moving to the city. I went camping with friends twice, both times one of them got angry and labeled me antisocial and rude because I went for a couple walks alone. It’s not that I don’t love them, I just need to think! Reasuring to know I’m not alone in this. Also, when I can’t avoid staying at a friends, I find waking up early(ridiculously early in my case, I’m used to getting up at four every day for work) and just sitting in an unocupied room with a book and my ipod helps a little.

By: Becky

Becky — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:58:28 +0000

I don’t like spending the night at someone else’s house, either. My cousin offered to let me and my family stay at her house while we were on vacation, but we politely declined her generous offer. We would feel more comfortable staying in a hotel because we love our privacy too much.

House guests are the bane of my existence. If they want privacy and a door that closes, these people need to stay in a hotel. My high school principal once asked me to host a foreign exchange student. He looked so shocked that this timid little introvert had the nerve to say “no” to him. I admire people who graciously host guests in their home. I would never do that.

By: CLA

CLA — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:27:36 +0000

I’ve spent so many years simply telling people “I’m just weird” as to why I don’t want to spend the night. When going out of town, it’s always my preference and, if I’m able, I will get a hotel instead of having to deal with my own issues about needing space, my stuff, others’ cleanliness, my alone/quiet time, morning chit-chat, etc. The one exception is my dad’s house. I am comfortable there — probably because it is three levels, with parents on top level and me on the bottom — with a bathroom.

I’m also the same way when I have company from out of town at my place. An occasional overnight is fine, but there is still the discomfort of not being alone to “do my own thing” — even if it’s nothing! Even with my long-term boyfriend….if I had my druthers, I’d wake up by myself 360 days per year — or more. I wonder if it has anything to do with a resistance to feeling obligated to “show up” (mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically) for another person. Hmmmnnn….

By: IntrovertZone

IntrovertZone — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:27:36 +0000

That’s my situation exactly. If I were the type to enjoy spending the night with others, I’d probably have been able to maintain closer relationships with a lot of my family and friends after moving from my hometown many years ago. It’s also less than 3 hours away. As it is, I make little day trips so we talk for three hours, I get exhausted from all the eye contact, then I drive back home.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 30 May 2010 16:17:39 +0000

I used to not mind staying at friend’s houses as a child or teenager. In fact, I really enjoyed it. Now that I’m in my twenties, I hate it! A lot of my friends live 2 or 3 hours away and I keep putting off visiting them because I don’t want to spend the night. After spending a long, busy, energy-expending day together catching up, the last thing I want is to sleep on someone’s futon and get no introvert time. It actually feels just like homesickness. It’s not that I’m homesick for anybody or for home, I just want to be alone! When I was younger I had a friend that got “homesick” in her own house at her own sleepovers. Looking back on it, I bet she was just an introvert.

By: Pauline

Pauline — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 13:53:51 +0000

I agree with you a hundred percent.

I hesitate to sleep in a different and unfamiliar place if I have to be with unfamiliar faces and those are consisting majorly of extroverts. It also sucks, because when they start having their “fun” in front of you (’cause you share a room with ‘em), they will all look at you and tease you “loner” “emo” (Ew). Anyways, yeah, or they’ll ask you if you’re sick or okay or something. I’d simply say, “yeah I am.” and probably give a warm smile but then fume inside my head ’cause they always have to ask the “are you OK” question with a sorry face or something. I wish people would just mind their own business. But in this world, since it’s a freakin’ free country, they tend to butt the effing in.
.-= Pauline´s last blog ..Can’t get enough of the Hollies =-.