Comments on: How to Deal With an Introvert http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert Fri, 18 May 2012 00:44:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: victory http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-8492 victory Sat, 21 Apr 2012 05:03:21 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-8492 Hi I met my husband in my working place, (we worked for the same company) fell in love and proposed him. After taking 2 days time he also said he also loved me. I was soooooooooooooooo happy because I really loved him for no reason. When I enquired about his family, he said he had no parents but had one sister who lived in India with her family. If I asked more about he cried and cried, so I left him without any more nagging questions. I did ask him few times and he never gave satisfactory answers. I asked who helped him to study, he said "some uncle" and when I wanted to know where that uncle lived, he said he had no contacts with him then. But my love was so strong that I was not wise enough to identify the mask he was wearing. When we married we planned to move off to USA and I wrote all the necessary exams and he was there to support. but suddenly one fine day when the last paper for the visa processing needed all about his family, he said he would fill and give me. But he did not send it at all. Evenafter asking repeatedly, he never sent it and its still pending and now it is 6yrs. Now he treats me like a slave. He does not want me to study more or work or have friends of my own interests. He gives me little money and wants me to manage family with that amount.......does not share anything, doesnt have any interest in sexual life.....can I divorce him? I have 2 girl children, 8yrs and 6yrs old. Few properties are in my name and few in his name. Pls advise. Hi I met my husband in my working place, (we worked for the same company) fell in love and proposed him. After taking 2 days time he also said he also loved me. I was soooooooooooooooo happy because I really loved him for no reason. When I enquired about his family, he said he had no parents but had one sister who lived in India with her family. If I asked more about he cried and cried, so I left him without any more nagging questions. I did ask him few times and he never gave satisfactory answers. I asked who helped him to study, he said “some uncle” and when I wanted to know where that uncle lived, he said he had no contacts with him then. But my love was so strong that I was not wise enough to identify the mask he was wearing.
When we married we planned to move off to USA and I wrote all the necessary exams and he was there to support. but suddenly one fine day when the last paper for the visa processing needed all about his family, he said he would fill and give me. But he did not send it at all. Evenafter asking repeatedly, he never sent it and its still pending and now it is 6yrs.
Now he treats me like a slave. He does not want me to study more or work or have friends of my own interests. He gives me little money and wants me to manage family with that amount…….does not share anything, doesnt have any interest in sexual life…..can I divorce him? I have 2 girl children, 8yrs and 6yrs old. Few properties are in my name and few in his name. Pls advise.

]]> By: Janice http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-8332 Janice Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:20:20 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-8332 I am being depressed lately that I do not know how to deal with my husband, I am a really extroverted person and I never thought any person can be like that as he is. I really thought there is something wrong with him, because if I ask him what is wrong or if I can help him with anything and keeps bugging him, he gets more grumpy and I get really nasty words from him. I guess I have never had a friend who is an introvert or have ever been close with an introvert before. As I kept researching on the internet, the solution is really simple, "leave them alone." But then again I can't help but to feel depressed sometimes about his ramblings, even if I have been really nice to him. I think he is burnt out and depressed because he has two jobs works 6 days a week 12 hour shift in a job he doesn't like. I didn't force him to get two jobs at all, it was his idea for we had financial problems because of his gambling problems before. Don't get me wrong I work too 40 hrs a week, we have a toddler, and I do everything at home, cook everyday, laundry our clothes, clean up, wash dishes, deal with other things like talk to people for our bills etc...when he gets home I massage him, give a foot rub..but lately all he do is complain. He wants me to leave him alone, because nothing I do can make him happy. Even he treats me like this, I still need him and it makes me depressed as I can not eat anymore. Today is his birthday and I planned a surprise party, but I am scared he may get mad at me for doing this. I don't want to tell my parents my problems so I am dealing with this alone most of the times. I am in the point of breaking down and maybe I just don't understand this kind of personality. Please enlighten me, I know he is happy with just by himself, while I like to have his company. He pushes me away, but I know he loves me...I just think he is an introvert and I never understood it before and I tried to change him because I thought something is wrong with him, now he is resentful of me. I want him not to, and only now that I understand how introverted people are. Thank you for all the information. I am sorry for my disrespectful action to try to change a person, it was because I was ignorant and I just didn't know there are people like this. I guess I was always hanging out with extroverted people, and now I have married an introvert whom I love so much and I want to understand him for the sake of my love for him and our son.....:((((( I am being depressed lately that I do not know how to deal with my husband, I am a really extroverted person and I never thought any person can be like that as he is. I really thought there is something wrong with him, because if I ask him what is wrong or if I can help him with anything and keeps bugging him, he gets more grumpy and I get really nasty words from him. I guess I have never had a friend who is an introvert or have ever been close with an introvert before. As I kept researching on the internet, the solution is really simple, “leave them alone.” But then again I can’t help but to feel depressed sometimes about his ramblings, even if I have been really nice to him. I think he is burnt out and depressed because he has two jobs works 6 days a week 12 hour shift in a job he doesn’t like. I didn’t force him to get two jobs at all, it was his idea for we had financial problems because of his gambling problems before. Don’t get me wrong I work too 40 hrs a week, we have a toddler, and I do everything at home, cook everyday, laundry our clothes, clean up, wash dishes, deal with other things like talk to people for our bills etc…when he gets home I massage him, give a foot rub..but lately all he do is complain. He wants me to leave him alone, because nothing I do can make him happy. Even he treats me like this, I still need him and it makes me depressed as I can not eat anymore. Today is his birthday and I planned a surprise party, but I am scared he may get mad at me for doing this. I don’t want to tell my parents my problems so I am dealing with this alone most of the times. I am in the point of breaking down and maybe I just don’t understand this kind of personality. Please enlighten me, I know he is happy with just by himself, while I like to have his company. He pushes me away, but I know he loves me…I just think he is an introvert and I never understood it before and I tried to change him because I thought something is wrong with him, now he is resentful of me. I want him not to, and only now that I understand how introverted people are. Thank you for all the information. I am sorry for my disrespectful action to try to change a person, it was because I was ignorant and I just didn’t know there are people like this. I guess I was always hanging out with extroverted people, and now I have married an introvert whom I love so much and I want to understand him for the sake of my love for him and our son…..:(((((

]]> By: Extrospection http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-6374 Extrospection Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:08:39 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-6374 I am an extrovert and I sincerely do not think anything negative about Introverts, I understand that we are just different types of people and equal in our abilities. I have a very close friend who is an introvert and we get along just fine. However, I need help in understanding how introverts validate their positions on various topics, ranging from science to politics to art by their peers or other people. My experience has been that usually (not necessarily always) introverts are not very interested in engaging in public debates or participate in general intellectual discourse in an open setting. This is perfectly ok, they don’t have to; but I am not sure how this attitude eventually does not lead to "I know what I like and I like what I know" kind of mentality? To be sure, I am not trying to criticize anybody; I am really trying to understand better how introverts engage or prefer to engage in a healthy dialogue. Any feedback is very welcome. I am an extrovert and I sincerely do not think anything negative about Introverts, I understand that we are just different types of people and equal in our abilities. I have a very close friend who is an introvert and we get along just fine.
However, I need help in understanding how introverts validate their positions on various topics, ranging from science to politics to art by their peers or other people. My experience has been that usually (not necessarily always) introverts are not very interested in engaging in public debates or participate in general intellectual discourse in an open setting. This is perfectly ok, they don’t have to; but I am not sure how this attitude eventually does not lead to “I know what I like and I like what I know” kind of mentality?
To be sure, I am not trying to criticize anybody; I am really trying to understand better how introverts engage or prefer to engage in a healthy dialogue. Any feedback is very welcome.

]]> By: Amy http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-3714 Amy Wed, 20 Jul 2011 11:30:53 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-3714 I am havig a difficult time with my introverted in-laws. My husband is a quiet person who tends to be on the introvert side yet he is not socially awkward (by that I mean he says hello and takes an interest in new people although he may not talk much). In oher words, he looks people in the eye , smiles and shows interest. Hisbrother, sister and mother are extreme introverts to the extent that they don't say hello (in their own house) look people in the eye or show any interest in "hew people" although I've been married to their brother for 3 years now, I guess I'm still "new people". I am hurt at not being acknowleged when I go to their house and don't relly know what to do to draw them out. I am a social person but not loud or aggressive. I am havig a difficult time with my introverted in-laws. My husband is a quiet person who tends to be on the introvert side yet he is not socially awkward (by that I mean he says hello and takes an interest in new people although he may not talk much). In oher words, he looks people in the eye , smiles and shows interest. Hisbrother, sister and mother are extreme introverts to the extent that they don’t say hello (in their own house) look people in the eye or show any interest in “hew people” although I’ve been married to their brother for 3 years now, I guess I’m still “new people”. I am hurt at not being acknowleged when I go to their house and don’t relly know what to do to draw them out. I am a social person but not loud or aggressive.

]]> By: Jack Kingsley, DUI attorney. http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2864 Jack Kingsley, DUI attorney. Mon, 20 Dec 2010 20:12:55 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2864 As an introvert myself, I can support every word written in this article as true. Thank you for putting this out there, friend; it's a call to extroverts everywhere to stop looking down upon us. As an introvert myself, I can support every word written in this article as true. Thank you for putting this out there, friend; it’s a call to extroverts everywhere to stop looking down upon us.

]]> By: Goawaybird http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2858 Goawaybird Thu, 16 Dec 2010 20:41:16 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2858 I'm an introvert myself, but am also the mother of my introverted 13-year-old teen daughter. Being one myself I can understand her in many ways, possibly better than my own mom, who is a very outgoing person, managed to understand me when I was 13. However I have a fine feeling that I'm not as equipped to dealing with her misbehaviour as my mom was when dealing with mine. As such, my daughter hides behind incredible emotional cataclysms, talks about suicide when I tell her to pick up her clothes, and doesn't seem to want to participate in anything positive we do as a family (and because I'm an introvert there isn't even that much we do together in the first place!). She's not the only drama queen in the family, but because my younger daughter is very extroverted, the drama is obvious. But how does one deal with a teen who refuses to participate in the good stuff and gets overdramatic with the bad stuff? I feel as though she's deliberately trying to lay a guilt trip on me - and succeeding! The drive is to make me feel like a bad mother. I would appreciate some help from an experienced parent here... I’m an introvert myself, but am also the mother of my introverted 13-year-old teen daughter. Being one myself I can understand her in many ways, possibly better than my own mom, who is a very outgoing person, managed to understand me when I was 13. However I have a fine feeling that I’m not as equipped to dealing with her misbehaviour as my mom was when dealing with mine. As such, my daughter hides behind incredible emotional cataclysms, talks about suicide when I tell her to pick up her clothes, and doesn’t seem to want to participate in anything positive we do as a family (and because I’m an introvert there isn’t even that much we do together in the first place!).

She’s not the only drama queen in the family, but because my younger daughter is very extroverted, the drama is obvious. But how does one deal with a teen who refuses to participate in the good stuff and gets overdramatic with the bad stuff? I feel as though she’s deliberately trying to lay a guilt trip on me – and succeeding! The drive is to make me feel like a bad mother.

I would appreciate some help from an experienced parent here…

]]> By: OneCharmingDiva http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2747 OneCharmingDiva Wed, 03 Nov 2010 18:49:20 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2747 Being somewhat introverted, I appreciat your stance. Too many times introverts get judged wrongly, (ie crazy, strange, arrogant) when in all actuality they are wrong. I choose a book over gossip & that makes me strange? Wow! Why not learn to be accepting & not be afraid of the "unknown". Being somewhat introverted, I appreciat your stance. Too many times introverts get judged wrongly, (ie crazy, strange, arrogant) when in all actuality they are wrong. I choose a book over gossip & that makes me strange? Wow! Why not learn to be accepting & not be afraid of the “unknown”.

]]> By: IntrovertZone http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2393 IntrovertZone Sun, 29 Aug 2010 20:19:54 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2393 Some of us may not want a push, but we may like to see an extended hand ready to support us while we come out and look around a little! :) Some of us may not want a push, but we may like to see an extended hand ready to support us while we come out and look around a little! :)

]]> By: rockford moves http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2379 rockford moves Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:51:16 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2379 Great tips. Some people just need their space and others just need a nice push to come out of their shell. Great tips. Some people just need their space and others just need a nice push to come out of their shell.

]]> By: Miami Family Law Attorneys http://introvertzone.com/how-to-deal-with-an-introvert/comment-page-1#comment-2375 Miami Family Law Attorneys Fri, 27 Aug 2010 13:02:36 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=912#comment-2375 I just loved this post and didn’t find it aggressive at all. I just loved this post and didn’t find it aggressive at all.

]]>