How can this introvert convey his need for alone time without offending a friend?


Dear Introvert Zone,

I have a friend who seems to be completely unaware of my need for alone time. I have tried to convey this but can’t seem to get it through without offending him. I need time to myself to live a happy creative life.

Photo credit: damon.garrett



  1. I know it will be hard but maybe you could start with something like “Because you are a friend that I value, I have to tell you that I really need “Me” time alone to re-charge.” I’m sure you could frame it much better than that but I think you do have to let them know, but without offending them, although I know it will be difficult. Extroverts, being who they are, just don’t “get” that not everyone is like them. We have to be polite and tactful but firm.

    • I do agree with you Bobbie.Communication in this situation is vital but the approach is what really matters-How you’ll get to tell the other person in a tactful , polite yet firm way without hurting feelings in the process.This is quite challenging especially if you’re..” The in your face..” type of person

  2. I think you will have to have an honest talk with this friend, who sounds like an extrovert. Just explain that you’re an introvert and you need some time alone, it’s nothing personal. I have had many extrovert friends who just don’t get my need to be alone and they never will get it because they’re not set up that way. If this friend still doesn’t get it or just can’t seem to respect your needs, you can adopt some coping techniques. I had an extrovert friend who just didn’t “get it” and finally I had to resort to ignoring her phone calls/e-mails/texts when I needed time alone. I would just make excuses later. If this happens all the time though, the friendship isn’t going to last.

  3. If your friend has anything like an interest in science, you could try explaining the straightforward truth about the way introverted minds and extraverted minds work. Some people, extraverts or not, will understand others’ physical, scientific needs.

  4. This is so annoying, one similar situation I have is I know another introvert who lives alone, he spends most of his not alone time bothering me but because I do not live alone I am not able to get any me time at all at the moment.

    People need to understand you as you are or just get rid of them I say.
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  5. have you tried to explain this thing to him? Because many persons are not aware about our feelings and it’s better if you can tell him so that you can continue with your friendship without the stress situation. And if he cares about you he will definitely understand.

  6. For me.. It is not a problem.. I understand introverts.. And if they don’t need me I will find someone that I can talk to.. You just have to tell that you are an introvert.. I am sure they will understand you..

  7. I would sit down with that friend and talk to him in a serious manner. He might be thinking that you are just playing around. If he intrudes in your ‘me’ time, let him know immediately and say that you want to be alone.

  8. You will need to just bite the bullet and be straight up honest with this person. You cannot control nor influence how he will react. If he takes it personally…guess what? That is this extroverts problem. Not yours. Your job is to convey your thoughts and needs as honestly as possible. If this extrovert ends up leaving you because of it, then they were never a true friend to begin with and opens up the space for a true friend to enter your life.

  9. I know this is really a difficult time but you have to face it and tell your friend that you are introverted. It wouldn’t hurt your friend if you tell the truth. Friends do understand if given the exact explanation.

  10. Your friend will understand you, that is for sure. If your friend doesn’t understand you he/she is not a true friend.

  11. Be open to her or him, you must see to it that you will be true to him/her. You must tell her/him that you needed to be alone and he/she can help you by leaving you alone.

  12. Hi! I think it would be best if you can inform us of how much this guy/girl is annoying you? It depends on the situation on how you should tell that person that you need some time and space. ‘Cause most likely, a simple thing by just saying you need time is enough.

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