Comments on: Holidays and the introvert

By: I’d get a lot more haircuts if I could order ‘em from Amazon! — Introvert Zone

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 00:26:38 +0000

[...] not get a cut and really didn’t look my best at work or during the holidays. I consciously trimmed down my obligations for December, because with the mountain of house cleaning, shopping, decorating, cooking, crowds, entertaining, [...]

By: Christie

Christie — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:22:47 +0000

I know. Family members want to be with us, and we want to be with them too, but if they’d let us retreat a liiiittle bit we’d be able to stay for more days of fun!

By: Introvert needs are positive and healthy — Introvert Zone

Introvert needs are positive and healthy — Introvert Zone — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:14:16 +0000

[...] when we talk about holidays or social events or many other topics, we introverts agree on a lot of things that we definitely [...]

By: Nick Laborde

Nick Laborde — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 04:34:50 +0000

That is a good idea but I know my family would never let me hear the end of it if I stayed at a hotel.
Nick Laborde´s last blog ..Rock It Out!

By: Christie

Christie — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 01:58:04 +0000

Tervo that would REALLY be an awesome solution for us introverts and holidays. So often when I’m out of town at a loved one’s house I am torn between the strong urge to LEAVE at the end of the day and the knowledge that I’d really like to have more time with them. Going to a hotel to be alone and sleep in my own space would be ideal and would allow me to go back to their house the next day. I wish the general public would/could understand and not think we’re being unsociable, unfriendly, rude, or whatever it is they think.

By: Tervo

Tervo — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:31:03 +0000

Hi Everyone, I just found this blog and am really enjoying it. I’m in my late forties and finally found the solutions to my holiday cheer – stay in a hotel!!!!. I didn’t have a car, they just picked me up and dropped me off every day. Of course not everyone one can afford this, but if you can I highly recommend it.

By: Christie

Christie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:03:59 +0000

Hey Alice, Isn’t it awful – you’re already dreading it, and if you’re like me it’s making you feel a little bit grumpy even when you’re not actively thinking about it. Try to enjoy everyone, but yep, take a break from them before you really need it so you can really enjoy. Just driving or walking away, alone, will start to help your mental state a lot. Good luck!

By: Christie

Christie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:01:55 +0000

Hi Bella, Oh that would be great if people would be a bit more sensitive with their wording! That “how are you doing” would definitely be so much better than the dreaded spotlight. Thanks for the suggestion, and I hope some people will see it and follow it!

By: Alice

Alice — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:00:54 +0000

Oh geez, holidays…This is the first holiday where I’ve cooked for my parents and my little sister. And my little sister is STAYing with me (sorry to, ah, yell) in my 1000 square foot house for Thanksgiving, so it won’t be easy to get away for a bit. The closer it comes, the more I am realizing that I really am terrified. Neither mom nor little sis seem to realize that there are boundaries. Perhaps that’s the nature of family!So, thanks everyone for the escape ideas. I should insist that I need to go to the gym or run an errand or something. Because I never snap, but…ouch. What I would give to be alone with a pile of little dogs.

By: Bella

Bella — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:23:51 +0000

Funny — I got my first invitation for thanksgiving after posting this yesterday. I actually appreciated it, it was nice that they thought of me.

But two problems for introverts might be solved by different word choices. If people just offered the invitation without the question about what we’re doing, it would help. The other relates to the “are you ok” topic on here recently…if someone is concerned and asks “how are you doing?” instead of “are you ok”? it would not feel like we’re under the white spotlight at the police station, being interrogated! “How are you doing” leaves it much more open for a pleasant but noncommittal response.

By: Christie

Christie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:23:20 +0000

I totally understand. I can imagine the day will come when I find myself alone during at least some holidays too. I still don’t know whether I would go to other people’s houses or not – and would probably do what you do, say no but then sort of regret it at least at the beginning of the day itself when I have nowhere to go. If everyone would refrain from asking about it so much it might be a bit easier for folks who don’t have family plans, but I know everyone means well.

Hahaha…the music.. Yep, better not to let ‘em know it bothers you, or you’ll be receiving all sorts of silly things, all music makers!

By: Bella

Bella — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:54:16 +0000

I always feel a sense of relief when January 1 rolls around. Many people, like myself, do not have fond warm xmas memories from childhood. In a difficult family situation, the holidays just add fuel to the fire. Now that our parents are gone, we’ve pretty much quit going through the pretense of “family holidays” and usually do our own things.

That sets me up for the pity invitation from friends…I know people mean well when they want to round up all the stray dogs in their lives for Thanksgiving dinner, but…yikes…few things are more uncomfortable than that, for me. I’ve taken to lying…I tell friend A I’m eating with friend B, etc.

Sometimes I have regretted that decision, but I’m often quite happy to be alone on those days. I’ll get my own favorite foods and stock up movies, etc. People who enjoy being with family must picture that as the saddest thing ever, but it’s really not that bad. And it’s just one day…it passes quickly!

And xmas music, eek! I can barely tolerate it on the first hearing, let alone #99. At one job, my coworkers knew this and would leave xmas music playing on my voicemail.

By: Sire

Sire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:25:22 +0000

Yep, there’s a lot to be said for a quiet uninterrupted evening at home.

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:14:29 +0000

Oh yes – and I try to do as much as I can online. If my niece asks for Littlest Pet Shop, well Amazon has a great selection – no need to go to a toy store and get some really ill will toward my fellow man!

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:13:40 +0000

Jennie that is awesome you enjoy even the house that’s so very full of people – and since love it, it really makes the holidays great. I’d hate to spend holidays alone too, but I know some people do. Some older people have kids who are grown and will be at their in-laws’ for a holiday, or some may have no kids or other relatives nearby. I’m thankful for everyone while I have them around!

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:11:07 +0000

Hey Martin, welcome to Introvert Zone! I’m glad you love Christmas – there’s nothing quite like it is there, and the mood can be so happy. Oh yes, I always thought I was odd too, being fine at first, then suddenly having ENOUGH of the mall – especially since I’m a woman and many people would assume I was born loving to shop.

That has happened to me too, taking pictures then suddenly all the little groups say, “Come here and take one of us!”

Thanks so much for the comment – and for the kind words! Hope you keep coming back to Introvert Zone!

By: Christie

Christie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:07:18 +0000

Sire I could have guessed that you have hot Italian blood racing through those veins! That’s cool you enjoy all your family gatherings – it really makes the holidays great. And I’m with you – I’m not afraid of spending an evening with a book or the internet rather than with people I wouldn’t choose to socialize with.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:03:52 +0000

btw-I shop for presents early so I don’t have to be stuck in a stuffy mall.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:59:46 +0000

Its that time of the year again…i should know since I work in a store that plays X-Mas songs. For Christmas, it’s been a tradition in my family to gather at my grandparent’s house on Christmas Eve. Everyone would come over to eat, take pictures, and open presents. The women are gossiping, the men playing poker, and the kids (of every age) running everywhere. Did I meantion there are over 40 of us in one house. Every year the number keeps growing. That is an overwhelming number to some people who are not use to it, but I grew up surrounded by family and I love it. I can never imagine celebrating the holidays alone…I find that idea depressing.

By: Martin

Martin — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:49:04 +0000

I really love christmas – as in REALLY love christmas. Its the one time of the year I dont even mind the hordes of people at the mall, the mid-30’s women with their baby carriages (that seemingly allow them to push everyone else around), the endless lines at the cash register or the infernal noise at the malls.
I dont mind it, but I cant take it though – after a few hours in a place like that I start getting all dizzy and grumpy and start searching for that quiet little corner where I can hide away for a while. Always figured I was just odd…

I actually tried Klaus approach a few times at large parties, but that was no good. Taking pictures and filming has a nasty habbit of putting you “on the spot”. People most often look for or at the person filming and taking pictures, I really dont like that.
I usually just hurry up and pop a few beers, makes everything just a bit easier.

Oh! btw, as Klaus said yesterday (from me) its absolutely an excellent blog you have here