Comments on: Don’t ask an introvert if he’s OK! http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok Fri, 18 May 2012 00:44:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Lance http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-8468 Lance Thu, 19 Apr 2012 07:19:15 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-8468 Yes, introverts may be hard to communicate and get along with, but they need to be respected with whatever they want. Thank you so much! Yes, introverts may be hard to communicate and get along with, but they need to be respected with whatever they want. Thank you so much!

]]> By: Sameer http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-8464 Sameer Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:37:17 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-8464 (Kierra) --- Because that women is stupid and there are many stupids like that who like to make fun of others for no reason.They always interfere in others business.The joke is, people who do that are not perfect in anyway. (Kierra) — Because that women is stupid and there are many stupids like that who like to make fun of others for no reason.They always interfere in others business.The joke is, people who do that are not perfect in anyway.

]]> By: Kierra http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-8461 Kierra Wed, 18 Apr 2012 23:25:00 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-8461 I actually just had this happen to me yesterday when I went to Olive Garden to pick up a to-go order. There were about six workers chit chatting behind the welcoming station and I tentatively greeted them because I didn't want to intrude too much on their conversation. When they all finally turned to look at me, I told one of them my name so I could pay for my order. As I dug into my purse for my wallet, one of the women looked at me asked, "Are you okay?" I smiled and politely responded with a "Yes, Im fine," but inside I was extremely aggravated. Why would she, a stranger, ask if I was okay? What right did she have to even be asking that question of someone she doesn't even know. Did she ask that because I didn't make any small talk? Didn't have the correct expression on my face? Or was it possibly because I came alone? Just because I not talking doesn't mean that I'm sad or upset. I'm just waiting for you to do your job and hand me my order! I actually just had this happen to me yesterday when I went to Olive Garden to pick up a to-go order. There were about six workers chit chatting behind the welcoming station and I tentatively greeted them because I didn’t want to intrude too much on their conversation. When they all finally turned to look at me, I told one of them my name so I could pay for my order. As I dug into my purse for my wallet, one of the women looked at me asked, “Are you okay?” I smiled and politely responded with a “Yes, Im fine,” but inside I was extremely aggravated. Why would she, a stranger, ask if I was okay? What right did she have to even be asking that question of someone she doesn’t even know. Did she ask that because I didn’t make any small talk? Didn’t have the correct expression on my face? Or was it possibly because I came alone? Just because I not talking doesn’t mean that I’m sad or upset. I’m just waiting for you to do your job and hand me my order!

]]> By: Anita@Brazilian Wax Video http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-8456 Anita@Brazilian Wax Video Wed, 18 Apr 2012 20:38:37 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-8456 While I was in high school I developed quite the reputation for being a snappy little so-and-so and the infamous 'Are you okay?' - or inquries of that nature - were often the catalyst for me lashing out and that asker. At the time people assumed I was just a little catty and I figured that I was a cranky person at heart, as I knew that lashing out wasn't the acceptable response. Now, years on, I know that such responses have an enormous amount to do with being an introvert. I'm pleased to read your story and those of the many comments on this particular post. I too try and respond in more positive ways these days! :) Anita x While I was in high school I developed quite the reputation for being a snappy little so-and-so and the infamous ‘Are you okay?’ – or inquries of that nature – were often the catalyst for me lashing out and that asker. At the time people assumed I was just a little catty and I figured that I was a cranky person at heart, as I knew that lashing out wasn’t the acceptable response.

Now, years on, I know that such responses have an enormous amount to do with being an introvert. I’m pleased to read your story and those of the many comments on this particular post. I too try and respond in more positive ways these days! :)

Anita x

]]> By: Mike O. http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-7544 Mike O. Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:19:18 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-7544 I Googled the phrase, "Are you okay introvert" because it has to be the most infuriating question. I get it every single day for not smiling enough or talking enough and it only makes me resist doing those social activities all the more. I just found out today about the phrase "introvert" and it's opened up my world. After 27 years I FINALLY have a name to put to my personality, and my life as a whole. Nobody around me understands it completely, but my wife has been great about trying. I almost feel like I wrote this post myself as my response is frequently the, "Yes, are YOU okay?" It feels so invasive and offensive to ask if someone is okay when nothing is wrong because it's like someone is saying, "You look really messed up, tell me all about it" when nothing at all is wrong. Thank you for the post. =] I Googled the phrase, “Are you okay introvert” because it has to be the most infuriating question. I get it every single day for not smiling enough or talking enough and it only makes me resist doing those social activities all the more.

I just found out today about the phrase “introvert” and it’s opened up my world. After 27 years I FINALLY have a name to put to my personality, and my life as a whole. Nobody around me understands it completely, but my wife has been great about trying.

I almost feel like I wrote this post myself as my response is frequently the, “Yes, are YOU okay?” It feels so invasive and offensive to ask if someone is okay when nothing is wrong because it’s like someone is saying, “You look really messed up, tell me all about it” when nothing at all is wrong.

Thank you for the post. =]

]]> By: Karen http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-7539 Karen Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:31:08 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-7539 I just found this site recently and it's so great to know that there are other people who have experienced so many of the same things I have. I've really enjoyed reading the posts and can really relate. About the comments people make about facial expression....I used to experience this when I was in college...I remember walking down a hallway and someone, I believe it was a staff member, coming the other way stopped me and said "You look like you just lost your best friend!" ...huh? I had no idea how my facial expression looked, but after a few other similar incidents with similar comments (ie. "you need to smile more"), which were very hurtful at the time, I decided I needed to make the conscious effort to constantly wear a "half-smile" on my face all the time. I figured that if what I thought was a relatively expressionless look, actually looked like I was frowning, to others...then, as strange as it felt at first, if I wore that "half-smile" all the time, maybe I would look "normal" to other people, and maybe it would stop these comments. I remember even practicing and evaluating how this looked in the mirror...making sure it was just enough to counteract the "frowning look" I apparently otherwise had, without making me look crazy...lol! It did help, silly as it sounds. That was over 20 years ago. Funny the things we will do! I just found this site recently and it’s so great to know that there are other people who have experienced so many of the same things I have. I’ve really enjoyed reading the posts and can really relate.

About the comments people make about facial expression….I used to experience this when I was in college…I remember walking down a hallway and someone, I believe it was a staff member, coming the other way stopped me and said “You look like you just lost your best friend!” …huh? I had no idea how my facial expression looked, but after a few other similar incidents with similar comments (ie. “you need to smile more”), which were very hurtful at the time, I decided I needed to make the conscious effort to constantly wear a “half-smile” on my face all the time. I figured that if what I thought was a relatively expressionless look, actually looked like I was frowning, to others…then, as strange as it felt at first, if I wore that “half-smile” all the time, maybe I would look “normal” to other people, and maybe it would stop these comments. I remember even practicing and evaluating how this looked in the mirror…making sure it was just enough to counteract the “frowning look” I apparently otherwise had, without making me look crazy…lol! It did help, silly as it sounds. That was over 20 years ago. Funny the things we will do!

]]> By: Phant http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-7455 Phant Sun, 11 Mar 2012 23:30:44 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-7455 I'm an introvert who has experienced some of this, but I've also spent a lot of time around extraverts. I have come to the conclusion that things like this (the pointing out when someone is "too quiet," or telling people to smile, or interrupting someone who is obviously busy) aren't happening because the person doing them is an extravert; they're happening because the person doing them has poor social skills. (Could it be that many introverts actually have above average social skills, contrary to popular belief? Or maybe I'm just biased here.) So, I don't think it's because people are extraverts; I think it's because some people may not be the best at reading social cues or working out social behaviors (and they don't realize how awkward it is to have to answer the question, "Why are you so quiet?"). I guess introverts must be particularly hard to read, because I can't count how many times people have played "guess what she's thinking" with my facial expressions and every one of their guesses has been wrong. Anyway, great blog. It's like you're saying all the things I'm afraid to say. I’m an introvert who has experienced some of this, but I’ve also spent a lot of time around extraverts. I have come to the conclusion that things like this (the pointing out when someone is “too quiet,” or telling people to smile, or interrupting someone who is obviously busy) aren’t happening because the person doing them is an extravert; they’re happening because the person doing them has poor social skills. (Could it be that many introverts actually have above average social skills, contrary to popular belief? Or maybe I’m just biased here.)

So, I don’t think it’s because people are extraverts; I think it’s because some people may not be the best at reading social cues or working out social behaviors (and they don’t realize how awkward it is to have to answer the question, “Why are you so quiet?”). I guess introverts must be particularly hard to read, because I can’t count how many times people have played “guess what she’s thinking” with my facial expressions and every one of their guesses has been wrong.

Anyway, great blog. It’s like you’re saying all the things I’m afraid to say.

]]> By: Leon@Ballroom dance lessons Boston http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-2#comment-7403 Leon@Ballroom dance lessons Boston Thu, 08 Mar 2012 08:44:44 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-7403 I agree that asking "Are you okay?" is a bit dramatic and full of assumptions...I think there are much better and polite ways to ask how is it going, or to show concern in general. For example, "is everything allright? You seem preoccupied..." This sounds much more caring, don't you agree? I agree that asking “Are you okay?” is a bit dramatic and full of assumptions…I think there are much better and polite ways to ask how is it going, or to show concern in general. For example, “is everything allright? You seem preoccupied…” This sounds much more caring, don’t you agree?
Leon@Ballroom dance lessons Boston´s last post ..Hello world!

]]> By: Janice Devereau http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-1#comment-7390 Janice Devereau Wed, 07 Mar 2012 19:15:31 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-7390 janice@shyness, getting rid of shyness, shy, timidity, how to get rid of shyness I really like this blog. You have some very interesting articles and even the comments are great. I hope you won't mind that I use some of your ideas and comments about introverts. Being an introvert myself, I can recognize myself in your articles. Great stuff. I just happened upon your site and happily ready your articles. Excellent stuff! janice@shyness, getting rid of shyness, shy, timidity, how to get rid of shyness

I really like this blog. You have some very interesting articles and even the comments are great. I hope you won’t mind that I use some of your ideas and comments about introverts. Being an introvert myself, I can recognize myself in your articles. Great stuff. I just happened upon your site and happily ready your articles. Excellent stuff!
Janice Devereau´s last post ..Social Anxiety Disorder: Fear Can Overwhelm You

]]> By: Jo http://introvertzone.com/dont-ask-an-introvert-if-hes-ok/comment-page-1#comment-6942 Jo Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:32:41 +0000 http://introvertzone.com/?p=13#comment-6942 I am an introvert, though I used to enjoy socialising with my small group of friends in our local bar. They were all extroverts and used to talk very loudly, fool around etc, and I used to just sit there perfectly happy and content listening to them as they used to make me laugh. One day I was in the bar with my friends, an acquaintance of ours decided to completely slate me in front of everyone. He had the nerve to call me miserable and boring, and said he wondered why anyone bothered with me, amongst other things. Needless to say I was extremely upset and hurt by his comments. As a result, if I knew he was going to be in the bar I would avoid it, thus missing out on some good nights with my friends. This guy hardly knew me, how dare he say such things to me. The close friends that I have always tell me that I am a lovely, caring person and they enjoy my company. I am an introvert, though I used to enjoy socialising with my small group of friends in our local bar. They were all extroverts and used to talk very loudly, fool around etc, and I used to just sit there perfectly happy and content listening to them as they used to make me laugh. One day I was in the bar with my friends, an acquaintance of ours decided to completely slate me in front of everyone. He had the nerve to call me miserable and boring, and said he wondered why anyone bothered with me, amongst other things. Needless to say I was extremely upset and hurt by his comments. As a result, if I knew he was going to be in the bar I would avoid it, thus missing out on some good nights with my friends. This guy hardly knew me, how dare he say such things to me. The close friends that I have always tell me that I am a lovely, caring person and they enjoy my company.

]]>