I am a mix of extrovert and introvert depending on where I am. At work I am an introvert because of the politics – it’s just easier and don’t like feeling insincere or that I’m selling myself out. Outside of work I can be an extrovert with people that are sincere and when politics are minimal. I think this is how I work. If the people that come around me lack sincerity and the genuine interest in encountering another person then I CHOOSE to spend my time within myself and with my own observations. But if an individual comes along in a receptive non-cookie cutter stimulating social dynamic way – then I will happily engage. There are harmful work place gossipers that you need to watch out for. Your avoidance threatens them are they tend to be the ” Are you OK ‘ers”, in my opinion.

But at work, from a colleague – I just simply think the “are you OK?” question is just too personal and unprofessional. My facial appearance is not my colleague’s business. Sometimes I think about growing a beard – because bearded people never get asked this stupid question. Now I know why man has grown a beard for serious leadership positions for centuries- so people won’t wonder if “they are OK” .

And yes, At work, I do think the question attempts to exude dominance over another and is often done to do exactly that. How often do you see a colleague ask their supervisor if they are OK? Exactly. There is a power role playing here. Some extros think this question is a race to who asks each other first because it automatically implies that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the asker because they asked you first. I’ve seen this question used in a political and public way hundreds of time in the workplace. It’s a race – and normalcy is the finish line . I’ve had the colleague come in hung over and lookin like shit come around corner in the hallway about 100 meters away yell out to me “ Are you OK?” just in a pathetic attempt to distract any attention away from him and his own deviance. Britain is notorious for these funny politics. They actually use ” Are you Ok” as a defensive form of greeting. How often do we really see colleagues genuinely concerned about each other to the point that we say to each other ” tell me your problems” – which is what ” Are you OK?” is related too. We don’t. It’s a cheeky work place question that doesn’t deserve an answer as if they are genuinely concerned.

Try the following next time a colleague asks you if your OK: ( with a calm and relaxed smile )

* say ” Do I look OK?”
* say ” The question is – Are you OK?”
* Say ” Is there any reason why things wouldn’t be OK”
* Just put your Shoosh index finger up to your mouth like you would a child that is disturbing your important work
* Say ” that question is too personal John – please stay professional.”
* Say ” If a grow a beard – would that make you feel better”
* Say ” Is there something I can help you with ” as if they aren’t OK.
* Say “ I’m really busy Sally” as if a nosy child has said something inappropriate
* Say “ Excuse me “ if they say it again say “excuse me” … then again if need be
* Say “ Fine – are you OK”
* Say “ Do you mean -What’s wrong with my face?” using an inflection that highlights how inappropriate a question like this is.
* If they respond to any of this with …”You look so serious” or “You’re so quiet” , just say, “ it’s called PROFESSIONALISM , you should try it”
* Say ” try not to think about me if you can”
* Say “focus on your job please – not me”
* Say ” Are you doctor”