This is a guest post from Nick Laborde over at www.thethriveblog.com, where he writes about personal development in a fun and not so serious way.
Before I divulge my secret sneak attack approach, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Oh yeah, this secret doesn’t involve hiding behind any bushes or carrying any bats. The law tends to look down on that sort of thing. Now that we have the legal stuff out of the way, let’s get to it.
Dating an introvert may seem difficult, for an extrovert or an introvert. Maybe, just maybe…it’s getting them to go out on the date in the first place. Introverts, by definition, are not outgoing party people. So getting them out the door isn’t always easy, or is it? That all depends on your approach (this is where the big secret comes in).
For many people, it’s difficult to ask a person out, introvert or not. Knowing that your flame would rather stay home alone than socialize with you is quite a hurdle.
Are you ready, here it is…
The big super secret trick is to make your request for a date so unlike a date, that they don’t see it coming (hence, the sneak attack).
Many introverts spend their time alone perfecting something – a craft, a hobby, their mind, or their body. By asking them about what they do, you may inadvertently walk right into an invitation into their life. If your future date is an avid mountain biker, ask them to take you for a ride. If they enjoy running, ask them to take a look at your stride, or help you train for an event. As an added bonus… you won’t have any trouble getting them to talk, after all this is their passion.
Turning the introvert’s pastime into a shared event is a sure way to build a strong friendship, and eventually, a relationship. Plus it also helps to break the ice on the first date. Activities are always better than boring dinner dates anyways.
However, once the sparks start flying, you may find that your need for socialization is quite different. An introvert may be quite happy staying at home every night of the week, while you may want to see a movie, go to the mall, or hang out with friends. It is important that early on in your relationship, boundaries are identified, expectations are set, and compromises, however small, are established. You may be able to get an introvert out on the town once in awhile, but attempting to change that person will only bring you heartache. Remember the person you first met – that was the person you wanted to be with, right. Don’t change them or try to (it’s a lost cause).
There’s the big secret attack approach, easy right. I told you that there wouldn’t be any bushes or bats involved.
Do you have any secret attack ideas? Be sure to share them… let’s just keep it legal.