I’ve always been an introvert and this was all well and fine till I came of the age where romantic relationships get more serious.
My problem is that I start to get anxious and irritable if I’m around my boyfriend for more than five hours at a time. I begin to pick out tiny faults or physically withdraw from him basically, I’ll do whatever I can to get him to leave with out saying it. The poor guy has to drive an hour to see me so, I find it hard to say the words, “Please just leave me alone”.
It is very “jekyll and hyde-esque”; I’ll be bubbly and happy when he first arrives and suddenly it’s like a switch has been turned and I just want him to get out. Believe me, this is not an issue of him doing something to irritate me that sets me off.
All of my relationships have been like this. In my last relationship living with my ex wrecked the relationship. At one point he said something that is still haunting me, “how can you ever expect to be married or have kids if you don’t even like sharing a bedroom and being around the one you love?”. And I wonder to myself, “how can I?”.
My lovely extrovert takes me with a grain of salt but I can see that it’s hurting him. I feel so guilty about not being the standard “I-want-to-spend-every-minute-with-you” girlfriend. When I googled phrases like “why do I need time away from my boyfriend” all that came up was posts about girls being upset about their boyfriends wanting time away….yeah not a great feeling.
And before you ask; yes I have had (and am on) medication for my anxiety and yes I have had a therapist. There’s no history of abuse in my life, I had a normal childhood…I’m just stupidly introverted(
An introverted girl in her midtwenties
Photo credit: polandeze