Asking an introvert for an outrageous favor may make him hate you

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Like many introverts, I hate conflict.  I’m not afraid to say “no” one time, but then I don’t want to have to repeat or defend myself.  You asked; there’s my answer.   Sometimes people who start out as friendly aquaintances decide that since I seem so nice, I surely wouldn’t mind doing whatever they request.   Oh I mind, and it apparently causes me more stress than I consciously realize – it makes me lose sleep.

One guy I know tried to ask an outrageous favor and make it look like an “opportunity.”  He told me that his mother’s computer needed some work. “I thought about you!  Because you like to spend a lot of time online…..She would pay you something…. Or she might make you one of those wonderful cakes she makes….”    I did not tell him no immediately.  Since this guy is a friend, the fact that he asked me to do something gave me a reflex impression that maybe I should do it.  I’m not good at thinking and reacting immediately when someone is standing in front of me, so instead I started out about how we’d need to evaluate what’s going on with her PC, what she needs to have on it……       Then two things happened.   The first is that I saw he turned back to what he was looking at.  He had wanted to dump this on me and get it totally off his own plate.   The second is that later that day he told me that his kids were leaving for summer camp and he and his wife were about to spend some kid-free time for a week.   So…I, a single woman with a job, a house, and two kids of my own to take care of, should take all my spare time this week to fix and clean up the PC for his mother…then she probably will need to be shown how to do everything…more than once…  And he and his wife are going to be spending their time doing exactly what they want.   A lot of the brunt of that didn’t hit me until 2:30 am the next day, when I woke up and could not get back to sleep.  Here I was, trying to sleep, and the full impact of the outrageous request had hit me.  Sometimes I take a long time to process things, and the wee hours of the morning is a time when things often occur to me suddenly.   I think I did get back to sleep an hour before the alarm went off, but I felt awful the next day.  And then I found a guy who likes to fix people’s PCs and does so for a very reasonable rate. I sent my friend the guy’s information and told him “Hope this helps!”  Yeah, I took the coward’s way out, but I just wanted to end this situation with a minimum of discussion.  This guy doesn’t care what else I have to do in the evenings; he just wanted to offload something he didn’t want to spend his own time on.

 A couple of weeks ago it was a woman I’d never met.  She was calling parents of students at our high school, trying to get some parents to go and complain to the principal that the high school doesn’t have a Scholar’s Bowl team.  The middle school does, so her upcoming freshman son would now have no Scholar’s Bowl team.  I kindly started to say, “Thanks, but I really can’t take off to go to the school…” when she interrupted me, “Plan B!   I have a petition you can sign!”   Then I told her she may as well get used to doing without a few things, because when my own son started 9th grade I had received a letter telling me that I need to sign off on the fact that there will be no “gifted program” per se, because the high school has a large assortment of AP classes as well as some self-study opportunities for those who are on the math team track.  She interrupted again, “That’s illegal!  I want to see that letter!”  I told her I may have it, or it may have been something to sign and turn in, in order to be able to register; I just didn’t remember.  She burst out, “But it would be in his record!”  Oh.  So to satisfy her curiosity, I should go to the school, make a big deal, and request my son’s record.  My son is going into 11th grade and will be taking five AP classes plus honor band, certainly all he needs to handle this fall.   She finally told me she had others she needed to call but would call me back soon.   Well, I went to bed that night as usual, but sometime around 3 am I woke up furious and sort of dreading having to talk about this again.  I hate the phone anyway, and I just didn’t want to have to repeat everything I had said.  After a miserable day at the office, running on 3 cylinders, I called her house as soon as I got home.   I was angry and thought, so WHAT if they are trying to fix or eat dinner!   I’m not going to worry about this one more minute!  Her husband answered the phone and said she wasn’t there.  I gave him my name and said my son isn’t interested in scholar’s bowl but thaaannks, and good luck!   He said pleasantly that he’d tell her.  

Looking back at these two things (as well as others in the past), I don’t know why I felt so cornered and so furious.   But I felt as if my space had been invaded.   I expend a lot of energy just going through the work day interacting with others, so I simply do not have the energy to defend myself in a pleasantly assertive way against a pushy person with no boundaries.  I know I would never ask someone for a favor like that, and I (unreasonably) expect others to live by the same rules I do!   When they don’t, I am angry and I really want to avoid them.   I don’t even know what I should do “better” next time.   Somehow, when I tell someone, “No thanks…,”  they hear, “Hmmm..if you talk about it a little more maybe I’ll say yes!”   🙂     I do know that I need time to process things, so I may ask for a little time to think about it.  However, I don’t think I want that time to be “overnight” anymore.   I do a lot of great thinking and processing overnight, but apparently when the thinking is a decision about an outrageous request, then my answer (NOOOOO!!) is going to wake me up and not let me get back to sleep!   I’d love to hear from any introverts who have a good solution to this in the comments!

Photo credit: Jsome1

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60 Comments

  1. Again you’re spot on on this one too. Or at least I can truly recognise what you are talking about.

    I think it might be mostly extroverts who does this. They have convinced themselves that this favour is the best thing ever in your life, and they have planned to ‘sell’ this to you; but when you turn them down they don’t know what to say, as they didn’t think you would say ‘no’.

    I find this extremely annoying and rude.
    Why do I have to explain myself why I don’t want to do it?
    Sometimes I am dead honest about why I say ‘no’. Which is why I really admire Sheldon Cooper in TBBT. I’m kind of a Sheldon Cooper light.

    I wish I had some tips, but I don’t. I bang my head against the mental wall each time someone gives me the empty stare because I gave them an unexpected answer.
    And it gets really annoying when they try to pitch it to you again and you try to explain why you don’t want to, and they get all defensive about it.
    Just another sign that might confirm that extroverts are truly lacking in empathy.

    • 🙂 I do get the feeling that since I’m usually so nice and easy to get along with, I am almost seen as a resource which can be used whenever the extrovert wishes. Then yes, when we say, “No,” no one wants to hear that and often we have to say no more than once!

  2. That’s a very understandable reaction and emotional roller coaster. We are always in this dilemma, when the favors becoming more like an ‘obligation’ instead. I had a couple of those experiences (or more) over the past working experiences. Then one day, my bro in law just advised me ‘learn to say no when you need to’. Then I realized there’s a line to be drawn. If somebody is going to treat you differently after all that, then so be it, maybe he/she doesn’t care much about the friendship more than own interests.

    Personally, I think you did what’s right and should. As long we’re having good reasons and being polite when rejecting, we shouldn’t feel bad about it. There are choices to be make, and when you do, stick to it. I keep telling myself,’God knows my heart even if others don’t see it.’ I guess that’s the best comfort I got.

    (gosh, sorry for my babbling, but that’s a very mind-provoking post!) ^^

    @wchingya
    Social/Blogging Tracker

    • Very good advice all around, Ching Ya! Draw the line and be confident that if the person is really your friend, that will not change just because you don’t grant their request. 🙂 Not babbling at all – I think I will re-read your comment every time someone starts pushing me to do things I don’t want to do.

  3. I can relate to this blog entry on both sides of the equation. I’m not really good at saying “no” either, so usually I will go into avoidance mode, but there are times that I will be firm and just tell the person that “no, I’m not interested” or “no, I can’t do that” and if the person is disappointed, then my silent reaction is “oh well”. But I have also been on the other side of the fence. I worked with a coworker who would always say “no” to everything, if I had an issue with her, and I attempted to approach her about it, the response would always be some variation of the word no. I can understand being assertive and knowing how to say “no” but this person was defensive and jsut wanted to say “no” in order to have the upperhand. Now that frustrated me. This lady was extremely extroverted, as well, and I hate to say it, but I think that a lot of them don’t know the concept of boundaries unless it is something affecting them.

  4. cb, it sounds funny but I really think that’s the way a lot of people think of boundaries. I realize that this coworker had her boundaries to protect, and I had no problem with understanding that, but when I approached her about certain problems that I had with her, it was to protect my own boundaries as well, even though I didn’t really think of it that way at that time. But anytime I would try to bring up a problem that I was having with her, she would pretty much “no” me until I backed off, until I eventually felt like I could never get any of my own needs met, since she always seemed to have the upper hand and would simply turn around and do the same behavior again. I think that people need to have a clear understanding of each other’s boundaries and be willing to listen to each other. This indivual was too busy trying to protect herself from criticism or meeting anyone else’s needs and being overly defensive and unwilling to listen to anyone else. That’s what I meant in my last post.

    • Yes, I’ve had a similar problem with someone, and he was actually an introvert, although a different type than I am. (In the Extended Disc, I am an S – an introvert who is more sensitive and into getting along with people, where he is a C, an introvert who is into data and facts, not relationships). He’d put others into situations and think it was really funny or at least acceptable, never saw any reason for them to object. But then the ONE time someone else put him into the same situation, he got very angry and left the office, making a big show of not answering his phone all day, even when the boss tried to call him.

      JW I’m glad you got away from that woman!

  5. Wow, this is right on the money for me. Right down to the sleep loss, and taking time to process things. My sister asked me to cat sit for her for 7 days. I live 30 miles from her. That is an enormous favor that I would never ask of anyone. She makes good money and can afford to pay a petsitter. Here’s the hook: she asked me on short notice, so I didn’t feel like “no” was an option. Because if I said “no”, then *I* would be the jerk and not her. I’m on day 5 and I’m still furious. Oh, the icing on this cake? She left a typewritten note with instructions, yet failed to include any form of “thank you” in it. Did I mention that I’m unemployed and don’t need to blow $25 or more on gas? I will never do this again but don’t know how to convey that information. Any ideas would be most appreciated.

    • Bella, my blood started to boil while reading your comment. I hate that people treat introverts this way because our quiet nature lets them think they can run over us.

      Hmmm..if she had any sensitivity about her at all, then all you’d need to do would be to tell her, “I’m glad I could help you out this time since you didn’t have much advance notice of your trip to make better arrangements.” That get the message across to ME loud and clear, but I know most people wouldn’t even let you finish that sentence before interrupting and changing the subject.

      The only thing an outrageous favor-asker may understand really is a, “No, I’m sorry I won’t be able to help you out,” and when she asks why, use the vague, “I’m going to be very busy the next couple of weeks.” She may kick herself for waiting and she may have to scramble to find a sitter (but probably not), but she’ll have learned her lesson.

      I hate the thought that YOU will have to be stressed and feel dread knowing you’re going to have to say this though. You’d be actively worrying about her next trip and what you’re going to say, when to her it is nothing to even give a second thought to. Maybe it’s better to bring it up as soon as she gets back. “Sis, I wanted to help you out, so I did this, but this week was pretty tough on me. Here’s a list of cat sitters I’ve found who look pretty good, for next time.” Hah – perhaps that could be a typed list to leave for HER!

  6. Thanks for your input, CB! I appreciate it. I am going to bring it up when she gets back (because if I mention it while she’s on her trip — which was planned for months — then I’m the jerk again.) I think she did the short-notice thing on me to force me to do it. Which just riles me up all the more!

  7. Argh! So yesterday my sister was pushing me for an update on how her cats were doing, via email, and I told her a funny story about one of them named Monkey. And then added a paragraph that said, “I’m glad I could help you out but I think I will have to bow out of future catsitting of any duration…it’s a crazy amount of driving.” (Did not add “nearly 400 miles.”)

    And she replied, “Silly Monkey!”

    Gah! Not one word to acknowledge my statement…and I’m supposed to go to a concert with her next week. I really do not want to do that. Advice?

  8. I used to be a bit like that, but not to the extent I let it bother me. I used to go out of my way to help, until I found they were taking advantage of my good nature. Now, if I feel that they’re just trying to use me I just say no.

    That first guy is a total loser and should be helping his own mother. You know, it’s OK to say no, and that your sorry but you just haven’t the time, because you have your own kids and life to look after.
    .-= Sire´s last blog ..Googles Latest PR Update In Time For Halloween =-.

    • Hi Sire, Yep this is really the biggest thing I need to work on. I can usually say no once, and then if the person has any sensitivity about them that is enough. But when someone persists, I feel a powerful resentment that almost makes it impossible for me to say no in a pleasant, calm way and still want to be around that person.

      One thing I have to remember is that some people just don’t have as much empathy as others and may not have bad intentions at all. After all, I wouldn’t get mad at a dog for continuing to push his head toward my dinner – I’d just take care that he wouldn’t be successful.

      Thanks for your comment – and please keep coming back to IntrovertZone!

    • What really sucks is having to even say no. I really resent being asked at all. I resent the time and energy it takes to be polite while inside– I ma incredulous that someone would have the balls to ask me something like that. Seriously what I really want to say in these situations is are you serious?! Really!?

  9. Lucky me. I don’t have this problem. I have no trouble saying no and then saying nothing else. 🙂 I am very protective of my solitude and reading time and time for sitting on the couch thinking. I am BUSY and if someone else thinks I do not look busy, I correct that impression in a hurry. I have pretty much zero interpersonal skills, too, so it’s not like people seek me out. 😉

  10. People suck. I HATE when people try and make an opportunity out of a request. I mean, have the balls to at least admit what this is. And as if your mother’s cake is a substitute for money. Yes, people always think that us quieter folks are so friendly and will do anything, but it such a wrong assumption. Annoying.
    .-= Francis´s last blog ..Chef Knife Sets =-.

  11. Oh WOW do I identify with this post – particularly that first example. I am the “computer person” for my office, and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked to fix someone’s personal computer (as if it’s my HOBBY) and then told “Oh, we’ll fix you dinner!” Yes, because what I’m really lacking in my personal life are meals, certainly not time to myself!

    I have managed to shrug people off when they’ve asked this of me, but I always feel irritated, and I know that many of them have thought that I am a horrible bitch for not helping them. Frankly, I don’t care. If they knew someone who was a good mechanic, they would go to the mechanic’s shop and then pay him/her for the work, even if the mechanic was a friend. They would never think to call him in the middle of the night and offer a meal in exchange for a new transmission.

    I love being an introvert, but I hate that 75% of the world doesn’t seem to understand me, or care to try.
    .-= mellowknees´s last blog ..How to have a pimple-free buttocks for summer =-.

    • Yes, isn’t it rude and disrespectful – bringing in the personal computer to you! A friend of mine who’s also in IT ran into someone else from our company 250 miles away – on the beach. That other person talked a few minutes then said, “I’m staying in that house right there. Could you come look at my computer?” On vacation with family – sure, I was hoping there would be a broken computer!

  12. I have been going through the exact same thing!! After many nights and days of my internal schedule being messed up from it, what I do is explain to them how I feel beforehand, then if they ask me something like that I just say no. If they don’t understand and keep demanding my time/energy regardless, I just drop them (unless they are family or close friend, and in that case, they understand already). Much less stress now.

    • I’ve also tried “heading it off at the pass.” As in, if I announce to everyone I see that I don’t like to do x, y, z, or am not planning to ever….whatever….again, I would hope they won’t ask me to. But they do! Saying no is the only way for them to know that the answer is – no. 🙂

  13. OMG I actually googled this and found this page.

    I had a friend’s wife ask if I wanted to make some extra cash (I have gone back to full time study at the moment) by painting her grandfathers kitchen. I tried to get out of it. I said I had a lot of exams on. Answer: Thats ok because it will only take a few hours. I don’t have any painting gear. Answer: thats ok because they have everything ready. Then I said: I can’t paint, tried and failed many times, don’t know what I am doing, don’t feel comfortable getting paid for it. Answer: that’s ok because my grandparents can’t see well and can tell you what to do and don’t care if its a good job or not. I got peer pressured by her sisters and the mother who were also there at the same time.

    Well my answer, should just have been No, I don’t want to do it.

    Because what happened after was a nightmare. I basically had 1 weekend where I was free before I would be overflowing with exams and other things. So I thought, just get it done with. Went there, no equipment ready. Had to take their grandpa to the paint shop. Help him find everything. Go back to his house, help him find more things. Found the kitchen wasn’t going to take a few hours. It was going to take days. Holes in the wall, cracks everywhere. Plus the grandpa was very pedantic about the quality of everything I did. Not the blind easy going guy as described. On top of this he was like Grandpa Simpson and would not stop talking about the most trivial things which made me have to pause and listen, especially when I needed advice on how to repair the kitchen to his liking.

    So, i spent an entire weekend there. Only to repair the holes and cracks and paint the ceiling. He also added many other things to paint on top of the kitchen. Of course now I had to worry about finishing the painting as well as the coming exams and knew I was now in a situation where I know had things to do of my own and would not have another weekend to spare for some time. After that weekend (3 weeks ago) I have not gone back!! I just told the grandpa I would be busy for a week or 2 and would contact him when I was free again. I spoke to the grandpa today and he said his son had to come around and finished the job and it took him no time, which he said in a tone that implied “thanks for nothing and you took to long”. The whole family is annoyed with me now (although they would never say it to my face – suttle comments are used) because I started a job and didnt finish it. The grandpa hates me now!! and I got paid nothing for a whole weekend!!

    If it was a Grandpa I hope my grandkids don’t ask their husband’s friend to paint my kitchen. You’d think that your own kids or grandkids would do it for free!

  14. But the person you requested a favor of is under no obligation to explain why they don’t want to do it. It’s up to them to decide what is a valid reason for saying no, up to and including “don’t feel like it”.

    An introvert will certainly read a request for an explanation as pushy, and be less likely to say yes next time.

  15. I think it’s just a matter of respecting each other’s decision and privacy as well. We shouldn’t push someone to do a favor for us especially if he/she doesn’t feel like doing it. We are the ones asking a favor in the first place so we should be the one to understand if a friend can’t or won’t do it for us.

  16. Hello everybody! This is my first post on this website but I already feel at home. This past weekend was my birthday (03/05) and I decided to throw a small party at my apartment. Personally I’ve gotten a lot less “shy” since I was a kid but there are still problems. I honestly have a good size number of acquaintances and a small group of close friends. Of course I decide to throw a party for my close friends. I’m not the type that likes to let just anyone walk into my apartment (even though I have a hard time saying no). Usually I feel a strong urge to meet said person (or people) ahead of time to get to know them (after all it’s my place of comfort right?). One of my friends who is a distinguishable extrovert loves to throw favors my way. I hate feeling used and being an introvert (I think anyway) it’s worse. You feel you give so much so every once in awhile a good say in the matter would be nice. He likes to do small things that really just push my buttons. For instance my birthday this past weekend. I invited 8-10 of my close friends to my party. Throughout the night hearing “this is the most amount of people I’ve ever seen in your apt. I thought you said you like to keep the group small?” I’ve just started to pick up on some of his trends that he likes to utilize to make me do favors for him. The one that really upset me though was towards the end of the night after people have been drinking, socializing, etc decide on how to get home. Now to most people drinking and driving is bad so they try to find ways home. Literally everyone found a way home that night except this one friend. So here’s what happens (Sorry I digress a lot =) ) Let’s call him Extrobert for fun.

    As I’m walking out the last few people in my apartment he comes up behind me and asks Extrobert- “Do you mind if I crash here tonight?”
    Me- “Ya, sure that’s fine” ( in my head I’m thinking drinking&driving bad so let him crash)
    Extrobert- “Sweet thanks. Oh by the way I need to find a way home tomorrow.”

    Ummm… Did he just watch everyone leave (might be T.M.I but also his ex he lives with came to my party and she drives!) then ask me if I can take him home?I hate that!Seriously I went on a 5-10 min rant in my head on how messed up it was. His excuse was it’s my birthday and he was only concerned about getting over here. I calmed down a bit until my thoughts flared back up. I thought “yeah well so did everyone else but they managed to find a way home as well.” The next morning I asked him could he find someone to give him a ride. His response was “well my mom is sleeping dude.” So I had to drive him all the way back to his house just to come back to my own apartment because of his inability to think of consequences afterward =/.

  17. I can’t tell you enough how validating everyone’s comments make me feel. I used to have so much trouble drawing boundaries for myself, and then I thought about all the times people have told me “Becky, it’s fine if you don’t want to do it. Just say no. I’ll ask someone else.” I guess I sounded passive-agressive or something. =)

    I’m so tired of people running over me that I’m pretty stand-offish until I get to know them better. Nowadays, people rarely ask me for favors. Although assertiveness is a valuable skill, it makes me furious when people confidently ask for presumptuous favors (i.e. borrowing an expensive item or dumping their kids on me). If they’re pushy, I push back. The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me.

  18. “The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me.”

    Hoo, that is the truth. And it is liberating! Screw it…some people will like you no matter what, others won’t like you, no matter what. Just be you and let the chips fall where they may.

  19. Hey! I totally know what you are talking about. I’m also introvert and I’m so disappointed when people take my nice attitude as a license to abuse. It happens often though and I got used to it. But sometimes I react quite though when I detect an “abuse” and people are so surprised the “nice” girl is not really so nice anymore….
    Susane
    Susane D@Runway Model´s last post ..How To Become Runway Model

  20. Me too, I always get annoyed when people push me to do things I don’t like, seems we are that close enough. Beside i hate it when friends or acquaintance doesn’t know what boundaries are. I am an introvert person and I hate people who persistently ask something when they are already declined politely.
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  21. I’m primarily an Introvert in my thinking and behavior, but since I’ve learned how to be more assertive, I’ve found I enjoy social activities much more. I’m no longer afraid I’ll get my boundaries stomped on or be made to do something I don’t want to do. It took a while, but here’s what I learned:
    (1) Feeling at peace with myself is more important than getting people to like or accept me. Doing my “own thing” comes first in my life.
    (2) Any problem with people always comes back to me. If someone tramples on my boundaries, then I’m the one that allowed it. If I say “yes” when I want to say “no” then that’s MY mistake.
    (3) I’m a social animal even though I like lots of alone time–I’m not going to punish myself with loneliness just because I refuse to learn a few assertive/social skills.
    (4) It’s never WHAT you say that offends people, it’s HOW you say it.
    (5) There’s good and loving qualities in most all people…even the rude, insensitive ones. I choose to focus on the behaviors and traits I enjoy and ignore the others.

    Assertiveness is a lifelong learning experience for me. As soon as I learn how to be “kindly” assertive in one type of situation, another one pops its ugly head up to teach me another painful but enlightening lesson.

  22. Some people will like you no matter what, others won’t like you, no matter what. Just be you and let the chips fall where they may, find a friend that they love you for what you are..
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  23. I have managed to shrug people off when they’ve asked this of me, but I always feel irritated, and I know that many of them have thought that I am a horrible bitch for not helping them. Frankly, I don’t care. If they knew someone who was a good mechanic, they would go to the mechanic’s shop and then pay him/her for the work, even if the mechanic was a friend. | 😛
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  24. I am very protective of my solitude and reading time and time for sitting on the couch thinking. I am BUSY and if someone else thinks I do not look busy, I correct that impression in a hurry. I have pretty much zero interpersonal skills, too, so it’s not like people seek me out. 😉
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  25. We human have individualism as they say, we are different in some other ways, we never had a pattern with our behavior but with what you site as an introvert, most and almost numerous, introvert really hate it when they are ask favor by any body even if its house mate or a family. But we have to understand why is this so. Let’s respect each other preferences., if it suits them to be that way then let us respect it.
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  26. I thought about all the times people have told me “Becky, it’s fine if you don’t want to do it. Just say no. I’ll ask someone else.” I guess I sounded passive-aggressive or something. | 😛
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  27. Definitely right! I really think that’s the way a lot of people think of boundaries. I realize that this coworker had her boundaries to protect, and I had no problem with understanding that, but when I approached her about certain problems that I had with her, it was to protect my own boundaries as well, even though I didn’t really think of it that way at that time. Thanks for posting.
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  28. I am very protective of my solitude and reading time and time for sitting on the couch thinking. I am BUSY and if someone else thinks I do not look busy, I correct that impression in a hurry. | 😛
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  31. This is basically the same feeling that I get. Every one just keeps asking favours from me, again and again. And when I say no, they’d add a “please” to their favours, like it’ll make a difference.

    What’s worse is that whenever I ask a favour of them (even the tiniest bit), they will refuse and I’ll stick to doing it myself. I rarely ask favours since I am an independent person, so it’s disappointing. It irks me so much. It’s no wonder I became a cynic.

  32. But sometimes, it’s our fault, too. We need to establish that we are not command-machines to run, or computers that follow a user’s every whim. We need to establish that we are humans just like them–and surely, if we do what they do to us, they wouldn’t like it either.

    Also, maybe we should stop generalising. Not all extroverts are like this, nor are all introverts like that. Some extroverts are independent and are capable of doing things his/her own, and introverts are sometimes very reliant. And where do ambiverts go? So, let’s stop generalising–being an extrovert or an introvert doesn’t make us any better or less of a man.

  33. Now, imagine as an introvert, having to say no to a seriously outrageous request that is illegal and puts your job at risk, and could expose you to liability. Now imagine having to say it three times because this person has no concept of boundaries and is using every weapon in their arsenal from, “you promised” to guilt and other forms of manipulation. And then when you stick by your guns they proceed to verbally abuse you, call you a bad friend and claim you’re holding things over their head. That was my weekend. I’m shell shocked.

  34. I found this article via Google under “acquaintance asked for favor” because I am getting mean with people who repeatedly try to use me. This is a blessing to read. I also read that people don’t feel comfortable asking their own friends for huge favors, including money, because they don’t want their friends to know they are in need.

  35. Yea i feel the same as the person who wrote this article. My mom and my wife and facebook heads and can do EVERYTHING on stupid facebook but when it comes to life values and things that we need to know or do, they become useless and and stupid to it. (Sorry i have no other way to say it!). This angers me because it causes me to have an attitude and hate towards things in life and people. Im busy with my own things and with my career but how am i suppose to feel when im gettin pulled left and right with stupid requests. (Again, im sorry for lack of better words) but im just expressing myself.

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