An introvert wonders how to handle her extroverted boss!


Although a lot of people seem to think we introverts have “a problem,” the following is a refreshing change. It was submitted by an introvert who cares about her boss and wonders how to gently tell her that she’s draining the life out of everyone around her!

My boss is a wonderful person. She’s funny, chatty, warm, extremely friendly and very open. Thing is, we are a team of introverts. Along the intro-extraversion scale, I have to be the most extraverted. And so now that I’m starting to feel drained, the rest have doubtlessly been emptied of their batteries. We’ve tried to drop subtle hints to talk less and feel the need to be the centre of attention. Perhaps we’re being too subtle. How would you tell someone they’re draining the life out of you? She asks us almost every other day why we look so tired, and we have to cook up some excuse because surely we can’t say “you”. And when things don’t go her way, she goes all aggressive, and then pass-aggressive. It’s extremely draining on the team and even on her superiors (and others of her rank). I want to be very gentle about this because I care for her sincerely as a friend. I want her to get ahead in life, and she’s going to be held back from what she wants to achieve if she continues doing things the way she does. Any advice?

Photo credit: bradbridgewater



  1. You guys try to confront and have a heart to heart talk so that she would feel at ease after a really good talk to make things better. It is just a matter of understanding one another. Good thing that you are really concerned about your boss you are a great person.

  2. I also like the mbti team building exercise, with complete descriptions of each temperment (or however that word is spelled…it’s past my bedtime lol) and how to address each one. In addition to that, buying her a copy of “The Introvert Advantage”

  3. You should talk to her..And make her understand that you are introverts.. It will be worth a try.. She got a life beyond her work.. Maybe she can show her being extrovert on other things or in her family.. Hope you can handle it.. Hope to hear some results soon!
    Sally ThompsonĀ“s last post ..pennzoil oil change coupons

  4. If handled in the right way I know your boss would appreciate your honesty and input. Just be honest and explain you want to help her succeed and how you know her business would benefit from listening to your comments and managing her team in a more positive manner.

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