This wonderful comment by Bella is something I think all of us introverts can empathize with. I’m creating a new post from it so blog subscribers will see it and offer Bella some advice:
I am having a conflict with a neighbor over boundary issues. A few months ago, I was taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon, exhausted from work all week, and I hear voices outside. There she is with 6 other people, right off my deck. Later I asked her what they were doing there and she said they came to see the horses. I explained that I don’t want people showing up at my house on the weekends, when it’s my “home” time. She does not work and is home all week, I don’t care if she brings people over during that time frame, just don’t invade my space. She apologized.
So last Sunday I get a phone call from her — yes, napping again — asking if she and some friends can come over to pick up a bed from here. She started out with, “I know you don’t like people over on the weekends…” but then quickly added, “But Bill only has his truck here today”. I was mad but agreed, knowing I’d have to deal with it all again if I did not. She apologized the next day via email but discussing it further just made the whole thing worse, and now there are hard feelings on both sides. I get tired of explaining what seems like simple common courtesy to me. Really, you were just at church and felt inspired to come and get the bed afterward, and nobody knew in advance that that was the plan? I would like to cut her off totally but as we both live way out in the country, there are times when we will need one another’s help. Advice?
It’s a shame that although Bella tried being honest and explaining, the neighbor just didn’t seem to “get” it at all! I agree – she can’t just cut this neighbor off, because sometimes life does put us in a position where we must go to neighbors for help, especially when we’re far from the city. Any thoughts?
Photo credit: Yvonne in Willowick Ohio