A student asks: What would be a perfect world for introverts?

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I just got a really nice email from a student who loves Introvert Zone and is extremely interested in people and personality. She has to write something for school, so she decided to make introverts her subject matter! She asked, “What would be a perfect world for introverts?”

No one has ever asked that before, and it’s delicious to think about exactly what that perfect world would be like! I’m thinking about all the various things I’d want in that perfect world, and meanwhile I told her I’d open this up to all you other thoughtful, intelligent introverts out there! Please give her your comments below.

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38 Comments

  1. Job descriptions list “not a team player” and “works well alone” as desired qualities… wouldn’t it be nice 🙂

  2. In the perfect introvert world…

    libraries would actually be quiet

    interruptions and cutting people off in conversation would be an exception, not the rule

    to go along with Sondra’s comment, you wouldn’t be dinged at work for not being a “people person,” or “Suzy Sparkle”

    break times at work would be extended so you could have time to read or do some other solitary activity

    group work would be optional at school

    people wouldn’t make you participate in discussions or ask “what are YOU thinking?”

  3. “Small talk” would be eliminated. Loud busy parties would be seen as happenings to avoid, not flock towards. At work there’d be no cubicles…everyone gets a door that can be closed 🙂
    And people would ask “what’s wrong? are you okay?” if you’re talking too much, as opposed to if they think you aren’t talking enough.

      • “At work there’d be no cubicles”

        Heck, I’d be so happy to get my cubicle back. At my job, they decided that we needed to have “more interpersonal interaction,” so they took away our cubicles and make us all sit in a big room where there is absolutely NO privacy, no chance to think, and, incidentally, very little work getting done, especially by the few true introverts who work there.
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  4. And extroverts would not look disappointed or questioning when you said you had no plans for the weekend, other than to stay in and read.

  5. There would be resturants that existed solely for the purpose of dining alone; no one would ask “How are you today/how are you doing?” unless they actually planned to stop and listen to the answer; there would BE no loud parties, instead, small gatherings full of meaningful conversation; anyone who labeled a quiet person as being “stuck up” would be held in derision.

  6. I think in my perfect world everyone would be more self-sufficient if it was 100% introvert. People would take pride in helping themselves first and then when someone asks for help you’d know it’s not in their personality to bother people without good reason so all would be willing to help more.

    Fences would be tall enough in your backyard so you didn’t have to be bothered by a neighbor who wants to chit chat so you could enjoy a good book without pause.

    Quiet time would not stop in preschool for naps etc… it would go on everywhere so people could unwind during the middle of a workday to read or just sit back and relax.

    TV and electronics would not work for a set time (except basic phone for emergencies) so people could have quiet time at the end of the day to reflect, read and do some more unwinding. Families would bond, people would feel less stressed and the environment would be helped. All this would be say between 8pm to 8am. 🙂

    Instead of people getting together to party/socialize and this be the right thing to do to get ahead at work it would be about who can stay out of trouble, be quiet and do their work.

    —— I’m enjoying everyone’s comments. It’s soothing to daydream of this perfect world. 🙂

  7. In my perfect world…

    people I know and really like wouldn’t find fault or issue with the fact that I don’t want or care to go out multiple nights each week.

    I would be better able to communicate, honestly, when I need my alone time–and others wouldn’t immediately think something is wrong or I’m depressed.

    I could set the amount of time I want/need to spend talking to others at work–clients, co-workers, etc.–and anything beyond that would be time for me to put my head down and actually do my work.

    My quality of work would be the deciding factor in me moving up the career ladder–not how much overtime I put in, how much butt I kiss, or how well I “play with others” when it comes to non-work functions.

    Everyone would stop saying they don’t judge other people…because we ALL judge other people in one way or another. Admitting it and accepting it make it much easier for people to be authentic about who they are regardless of whether they’re introverts or extroverts or just plain ole verts.

    • “My quality of work would be the deciding factor in me moving up the career ladder–not how much overtime I put in, how much butt I kiss, or how well I “play with others” when it comes to non-work functions.”

      THIS.

  8. These are all great comments. What a happy place it would be!

    Mine would be that the telephone would be rarely used. If you had to call someone you didn’t know, you would have their email address and you would explain what you needed in the email first, then set up a mutually convenient time to talk. And people calling you would have to do the same. Heaven!

  9. I agree with everyone else: being a team player would not be a question on job applications. Neither would being a people person.

    I’d also like it if it was the norm to focus on building a few really deep, meaningful relationships rather than building your friend count on facebook. Not that I have anything against the big circle of friends- for some people, it’s what they like and to those people every single relationship might really mean something. But personally it’s easier and better for me to have one really good friend than five casual friends.

    I have no issues with phone calls. I’m one of the few introverts who prefers a phone call to a text message; though, I prefer email or even letters over anything.

    That being said, I believe there are a lot of things to be grateful for in this extroverted world we currently live in. Yes, it might be annoying when someone comes up to me and asks me what I’m thinking, because I’ve been thinking about something else. With that question my brain has to switch gears and begin to think about what I’m going to tell that person. My entire process gets interrupted. But at the same time, it lets me know that whoever just asked is paying attention to me, noticing me, and that makes me feel like I matter to him/her. No, I don’t do the party thing. But it’s nice to be asked. And as loud and obnoxious as extroversion can be, there is something loveable about it. This might be a pretty lonely place if we could all walked around absorbed in our own thoughts and no one thought anything of it.

    To me, I guess a perfect world is one in which things exist, for better or for worse, to help us grow as individuals. In that respect, I think this world has perfection nailed, with all of the flaws that that entails.

    Note: This is coming from someone who is both 100% introverted and very socially inept and shy, so I’ve been in the position of being left alone in a crowd, and while it’s nice once in a while it can get really lonely when it happens constantly. There are times when I value that extroverted mentality that says “that person looks lonely, I think I’ll go talk to him” versus “he looks like he’s deep in thought. better leave him alone.”

  10. people wouldn’t think your a snob because you don’t like small talk.

    people wouldn’t think you had to acknowledge them every time they are outside when you are.

    people would understand that a little smile their way actually means a lot coming from you.

  11. We would all spend lots of time and energy thinking about why we are on earth and how to make the world a better place. Guest Thinky If we did run the world it wold be harmonius without all the annoying excessive chaters holding non-sense conversations.Life would be more meaningful and we will actually have beter relationships hey.

  12. Big smile and nod when I read that libraries would actually be quiet (for some reason, a few people think it’s a great place to talk on their cell phones).
    Also, we would be thinkers, not doers. Our energies would be carefully directed toward actions that increase quality of life.
    We wouldn’t waste time and resources producing cheap made-for-the-dump plastic toys.
    We would live to live, not live to work.
    Education would free and a leisurely lifelong pursuit.

  13. I’d like an introvert world where people rarely talk because everyone is psychic and intuitive but also very respectful of each other’s privacy of mind. We’d all be walking in silent appreciation, all at high vibration. Knowledge would be natural not special. There would be no schools or churches or motivational seminars. Loving and wise silence.

  14. A perfect world for introverts.

    We would spend less time being out there. What I mean is, people would spend less time on facebook, twitter, blogs etc. Im not saying its bad, but people would probably be happier not sharing everything they do, think, and feel, online.

    Libraries would be safe havens, where people could read quietly and enjoy themselves.
    People would be less invasive of others’ personal space, and perhaps more polite.
    We would spend more time learning things we want to, not have to (no more gen ed courses!)
    Businesses would offer employees the chance to work from home at least once a week.
    Advancement at work would be based on work ethic and productivity, not how enthusiastic you look, not on how much you smile. I shouldn’t have to fake smile to keep my job.
    No more small talk.
    No more motivational seminars.
    The national anthem of the perfect introvert world would be the song “Stay Home” by the band Self (from the first Shrek movie.)

  15. Hannah Warsop on

    No adverts!
    No sales people knocking on the door/calling the house
    No -one thinking you are weird/rude/boring/obnoxious/pretentious for not wanting to go out all the time.
    A giant comedy hand coming out of the sky and slapping anyone who interupts anyone else.
    Conversations being 50/50
    Extrovert parents banned from judging their introvert children and leading them to believe they are weird or unworthy.
    Society celebrating solitude, meditation, self-reflection, empathy and listening skills; while people who are loud, talk too much, abrasive and shallow are vilified…or strung up, either works for me 😉
    Basically, a world full of introverts because we are the most wonderful people on the planet!

    • I love this world… I have difficulties socializing with people who are extroverts. My friend is definitely an extrovert and she really bothers me. She loves to talk, brag about herself. I really do wish that more people would be listerners instead of talkers. Plus, I wish that more people would be a little more humble and considerate of others’ feelings.

  16. A world where people doesn’t really care what you do would be perfect. It would also be amazing if people can understand each other without saying a lot of words and a simple hi or hello would do when you meet someone unexpectedly.

  17. I think a better place for introverts are places where no one will notice how bad a person looks like. Just like what ira said. No one would care how you look like, you act and other things that creates negative thoughts to people.

  18. it has been quite a long time knowing that i am sort of different unlike other people, it was hard to know who i really am i why i didnt fit in so well and why i dreaded talking to people i just met and today by goofing in the web i found out that i am an introvert. I AM AN INTROVERT

  19. It’d be perfect if everyone else knew what an introvert was. I’m ok with being introvert, just need to work on everyone else!

    Because I’m still a student, I can’t afford to live on my own so I live with roommates. Maybe next time it’s up to me to specify that I’m an introvert and what that means in terms of not up for constant hanging out? But yes ideally in a perfect world, I’d live with someone who doesn’t offended or sad that I don’t spend all my time at home hanging out with them and don’t really want to come out and socialize every time they have family and friends over (my last roommate was really extraverted)…or single person accomodation would be cheaper.

    People understanding when I need space that I’m not mad or annoyed by them (occasionally I am). And that yes, being alone is really what I want to do during that time, it’s not sad that I’m not spending all my spare time with other people. When I want to hang out with other people, I do it.

    Teach in school what introverts are (teach them about all kinds of different people actually) and what strengths they have, and how intros and extros can balance each other out instead of just get on each others nerves.

    Also, in an ideal world, it would be more comfortable for me and everyone around me when I just sit and don’t talk if that’s what I want to do.

    However I did notice that life got a lot easier for me when I stopped caring so much about what people thought when I took time for myself, didn’t talk much at a party, or spent a quiet night at home with the phone on silent. I think people care less too when it’s not such a big deal for you either, they can accept it easier that it’s just part of who you are.

  20. I agree with what everyone wrote! What I would like to see is a world where extroverts (the majority) understand, value, and envy us introverts! I certainly don’t envy extroverts and would never want to be one. I’d like to see introversion/extroversion taught in schools (and not by a teacher who pities introverts!) Many highly gifted people throughout the centuries have been introverts! I’d like to see introverts wearing t-shirts that proclaim “Introvert and proud of it!” or “Very Happy Healthy Introvert Here”! Trouble is the word itself has accumulated so many negative connotations (loner, shy, aloof, snobby–I’m sure you all know them). A major problem is the media–if you want to be on TV, ya gotta be bubbly, talkative, energetic, and kids watching entertainers think that is what they should aspire to be, and if they’re not like that there’s something wrong with them. Parents of introverts gotta learn about introversion and help their kids feel great about their wonderful qualities.

  21. In the perfect world for me:
    1.) people would not interrupt me while I am reading with continuous talking
    2.) being told to get a life would be no longer said
    3.) extroverts wouldn’t think that you are too serious and boring because you actually like to learn and think about things
    4.) the statement “reading is the most boring thing ever” wouldn’t be heard
    5.) people would stop trying to get you to go to parties and dragging you into the center because you are “antisocial
    6.) misconceptions of introversion would be gone
    7.) thinking before speaking/acting would be respected and not scorned
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